Top 3 Excuses I Can't Stand from WOHMs..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Top 3 Excuses I Can't Stand from WOHMs..
1516
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 1:39pm


1. We NEED two incomes to survive... Yeah Right! I honestly believe that out of the people that say this 90% would be just fine if they would cut their lifestyle, move to a cheaper area and sacrifice. I am not buying it one bit when people say this.

2. I put my kid in Daycare for the socialization.. Good grief, how much socialization does a 10 month old need?? Besides there are better ways to much socialize young children.

3. I am a better mom if I work outside the home.. UGHH! How in the world do you think you are a better mom by handing your kid off to Grandma or someone else to raise while you go work?? Unless you are going to beat them or verbally abuse them, I always think at home with mom is where kids thrive the most..

THere are others I can't stand, but these are my top 3. Have at it..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:19pm

I don't think there's much of a parallel between a 3yo showering with her mom, or even watching her mom use the toilet and wipe herself, and a 3yo watching a 13yo with adult development being changed.

If you had a senior living with you, and that senior needed a lot of help about personal care, even to the point of needing to be changed, would you be okay with having your 3yo present? I don't think I would.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:19pm

my niece is THREE YEARS OLD! Why in the world would she be "uncomfortable" in any way with alyssa being changed -- seeing as she's watched her sister be changed for the last year and a half or so???

as for our comfort level? my sister and i have been moms for 17+ years. we're fairly confident in our parenting techniques and what we will and won't do around each other's kids, LOL!

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we've been at this a pretty long time. I think we're doing just fine.

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completely disagree. i think anecdotes are important in this kind of situation as MOST of you will NEVER Have a child like this. If either my sister or I thought for a minute that the 3-year old would have had any "issue" with the diaper changing then we both feel completely comfortable with each other to make whatever changes are needed.

carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:23pm

I guess I just don't understand what negatives you perceive the 3 year old might experience from this?

As for experts disagreeing, isn't that more weight on the side of the argument that each family with a special needs member should make these types of decisions based on what they feel is best?

My anecdote was more to point out that what outside people see as shocking or weird (me hearing that dbf changed his sister's diapers) doesn't mean that the family members of the special needs person are shocked or weirded out by it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:25pm
There are any number of childrearing practices, past and present, that lots of parents view as perfectly okay but are still seen as controversial. If I listed them, you'd probably take offense at my linking them with your situation in the same post, but in any event I don't always tend to put much stock in "this is how we've always done it".
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:34pm

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Here are a couple that occur to me as *possibilities*, not that they're inevitable:

1. The idea that personal privacy and even personal boundaries aren't important or that they depend on one's level of functioning;

2. The idea that differently abled people aren't entitled to the same regard we show to others and that we expect for ourselves in the area of personal privacy or concern for modesty. If these weren't important, why would we wear johnnies when we're having our physicals? Why do we have our bodies covered, even when our feet are in the stirrups on the examining table, or even when we're in surgery and out cold?

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Didn't say otherwise; only that these things bear thinking about.

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Understood, but at the same time, people can get comfortable with a lot of things that in retrospect might seem like not such a great idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:43pm

I think that a 3 year old being exposed to her 13 year old cousin's diaper change will grow up to think that she had a special needs cousin who needed to have her diaper changed.

I just cant make the leaps mentally to larger questions of modesty and the rights of the handicapped.

Especially given the context. This is a family member of hers. At 3 Im sure she knows Carole's daughter, remembers her, knows of her condition (in the sense of seeing her in a chair, seeing that she doesn't talk to everyone, etc.) It's not as if her seeing the diaper change is the one and only childhood exposure to a handicapped person she will ever have and as such will grow up believing that all handicapped people show their vjay-vjays in public. Lol.

Its a joke, but I am making a serious point. I just doubt tremendously that this child is going to grow up in any way affected by this other than maybe having more compassion and understaing towards special needs folks than the average person.

Edited to fix a typo




Edited 7/17/2007 6:48 pm ET by chaoticchemistry

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-1998
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:59pm
I wouldn't be thrilled but I don't think it would damage her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-1998
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 7:03pm
Honestly, I think personal boundaries and personal privacy ARE dependant on ones level of function.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 7:08pm
My point was to show you that you are comparing apples to oranges.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-1998
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 7:10pm
I don't think you were successful in proving that point.

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