Top 3 Excuses I Can't Stand from WOHMs..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Top 3 Excuses I Can't Stand from WOHMs..
1516
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 1:39pm


1. We NEED two incomes to survive... Yeah Right! I honestly believe that out of the people that say this 90% would be just fine if they would cut their lifestyle, move to a cheaper area and sacrifice. I am not buying it one bit when people say this.

2. I put my kid in Daycare for the socialization.. Good grief, how much socialization does a 10 month old need?? Besides there are better ways to much socialize young children.

3. I am a better mom if I work outside the home.. UGHH! How in the world do you think you are a better mom by handing your kid off to Grandma or someone else to raise while you go work?? Unless you are going to beat them or verbally abuse them, I always think at home with mom is where kids thrive the most..

THere are others I can't stand, but these are my top 3. Have at it..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 8:29pm
I disagree. Personal boundaries and personal privacy are part of what we're accorded as human beings. If I were a coma patient in a hospital, I'd hope not to be left lying naked for all to see at times when I'm being bathed or otherwise assisted. Just to name one example. Even the dead are treated with more respect than that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 8:38pm

It's not that I'm imagining you make some sort of show about Alyssa's diaper change, not at all. I'm just somewhat taken aback by what seems to me your casual approach about other children, and such a young one, being exposed to it, and your apparent lack of concern about privacy when changing your dd.

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I don't know; if it's okay with you, and the kids want to help, then why not? This issue just got me thinking, but if you don't think there's anything here to think about, then that's okay with me.

I tend to see it from the POV of "What would a 13yo want?" I talked it over a little bit with my 2 teen dd's, and their reaction was like, "Ew, gross, I wouldn't want anybody at all to see me in the bathroom". They're not especially modest or anything and have no problem with seeing each other or even their mom in the nude, but they draw the line at bathroom functions. They think one should be guided by how a teen might feel if she were capable of giving her opinion, and they cannot imagine not being pretty modest about using the bathroom. I'm sure other teens feel differently, but faced with a teen I can't communicate with, I'd err on the side of assuming they're more on the modest side.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 8:41pm
As it happens, I do have extensive experience with severely disabled children and adults, and I have to say I haven't encountered the POV that they are forever to be considered babies based on their level of functioning. And I didn't mean to suggest that you're in any way denying your dd her humanity. It's just that it's hard for me to think about this issue in terms other than what any person's humanity consists of and what it demands.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 8:42pm
I totally agree with you. When my grandfather was dying the nurses were so great with him. Whenever he needed a new Depend they called it a DEPEND not a diaper and they also made sure to change it when no one else was in the room. They gave him that dignity. There are certain areas of our lives that we dont do in public and would be horrified if made to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 8:53pm
I'm glad you get what I mean; it's a little hard to find the right words to express this, but to me, dignity is as good a word as any to get to the core of it, and to me a 13yo is a lot less like an infant and a lot more like an adult wrt these questions. To me, someone who's helpless deserves even more consideration along these lines, not less.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 9:03pm
I totally understand it and I couldn't agree more. It is less about what the 3 yr old is seeing and more about the dignity of the person that is being cleaned up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 9:04pm

Well, I mentioned ds not being disturbed because you kept insisting that your main issue was with the effect on the 3 year old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 9:06pm

as this is my daughter whom I have cared for for the last 13 years, I will wholeheartedly and unequivocally disagree.

she may be 13 chronologically, but she IS an infant and IS my baby. I know that you just can't understand that as you have NOT lived it.

cArole

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 9:10pm
I think it's a little of both; after all, the 3yo's of today are the ones who plan the procedures and give the care of tomorrow, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 9:12pm
I'll admit, I don't see how a child of 13 is to be considered an infant, or how it serves anyone's interest to do so. But I truly doubt it's because I haven't been the parent of a child with needs such as yours.

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