Traditional roles, Are they really....
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Traditional roles, Are they really....
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am |
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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It took filing for divorce to get him to FINALLY start smoking outside all the time and I'm sure that is just a ruse so he can show the judge what a great father he is (or, avoid me nailing him for subjecting his kids to second hand smoke). I'm sorry but if I don't feel like having sex with a person who repeatedly disregards my health, I don't feel like having sex with them. Period. There ain't no going along with it because Laura S. says I should. IMO, she is wrong. No one should be told they should be giving their spouse sex just because their spouse wants it. Sex should be mutual, not one way.
STBX still tries. I guess I should put out according to Laura S. Nope. Not going to happen. He's a day late and a dollar short here.
Grimal, I think we *all* agree that SERIOUS ONGOING
Mondo
I am not missing your point.
Simply reading what you've written, here and in previous posts.
The "if I don't feel like it, it's not going to happen" stance is a manifestation of a selfish approach to the relationship. Period. And Dr. Laura isn't alone in pointing that out.
Funny you should use that example, because I had the exact same issue in my first marriage. And so I'm pretty confident in telling you that you are reading WAY too much into the smoking thing. You are only looking at the situation from your point of view.
And yes, you were using sex as a weapon. Simply equating sex with his smoking behavior does that. It's "I'm not going to have sex with you unless you behave in the way I want you to." You can justify it any way that makes you feel better, but that's exactly what you're doing.
Ah, the "Women are Martyrs, Men are Clods" approach.
Sorry, I have a higher opinion of men (and women) than that.
TM - wondering how you know what "most women" who read the book have already done.
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