Traditional roles, Are they really....
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Traditional roles, Are they really....
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am |
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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You didn't stay married to someone who you felt grossly disrespects you. . .someone who you felt SO disrespects you that you were totally disinterested in
Edited 9/28/2004 9:05 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper
No. . .I get that. . .What I don't get is staying married to someone who you have no sexual interest in due to disrespect issues. . .and then being surprised and mad when he desires sex.
If I felt my dh disrespected me to the degree that I lost all sexual interest in him. . .and all love for him (not even enough love to seek counselling or to give of myself to him). . .then I couldn't remain married to him.
Virgo
Why stay married? Two kids. Until I reached the point I felt staying was worse for them than leaving, I wasn't going anywhere. When it became apparent that I'd have to debase myself and follow Dr. Laura's advice and have my kids watch that to stay married, I filed. I can live with someone who doesn't respect me but I'm not debasing myself to make him happy. If I did that, I'd set a piss poor example for my girls. As bad as divoce is, staying married to him is now worse. IMO, divorce is one of the worst things you can do to a child. My parents were divorced and I swore I'd never do that to my kids unless I truely believed that staying married was the worse evil. It now is.
I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself but I'm not about to become a subservient little wimpette ala Dr. Laura. For my girls to grow up with a father showing disregard for their mother is bad, divorce is worse. Mom bending over backwards to make said dad happy is far far worse. It was one thing when I could just say my peice and take care of myself. It's quite another now that he's declared that *I* am the one who needs to change to suit him. There is no way I'll set that example for my girls. As bad as divorce is, marriage is now worse.
Virgo
Um, no. It makes no difference whether you're talking about your life or some hypothetical situation. But if you don't want anything about your personal life debated, then stop talking about it on a debate board.
Distance gives perspective. And nothing you have said in this debate or any other indicates my statements are off base.
(Edited to apologize for the hat)
Edited 9/28/2004 11:08 pm ET ET by cl-taylormomma
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What about the mother showing disregard for their father?
Once again, you are abdicating your responsibility for your contribution to the situation. Doesn't sound like either of you were modeling anything a child should learn about relationships.
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