Traditional roles, Are they really....
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Traditional roles, Are they really....
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am |
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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But I must say I have heard her speak on this issue and her view is NOT that you must submit if he says he wants sex. Her view is more along the lines that you shouldn't rebuff your dh just because you weren't thinking of sex AT THE MOMENT. She assumes most couples enjoy sex and the intimacy it can bring and that sometimes you should CONSIDER your partner's feelings even if sex wasn't on your mind.
My feeling (different from Dr. Laura's) is that if either of you is constantly rebuffing the other when it comes to intimacy then something is wrong and you should search for the reasons why you are avoiding intimacy. I don't think you should force yourself to have sex but you should remember that lack of sex can be a warning sign that something else is wrong in the marriage. I don't think couples should brush off a lack of desire without examining why it is occurring.
Jenna
Virgo
If dh and I weren't interested in each other's happiness I can really see little reason to be married. What would I need him for other than to make me happy (and vice versa)?
Jenna
So I think that when couples stop wanting each other in bed it is time to find out WHY. Because lack of desire is a very serious symptom of a poor marriage. I am not saying that happily married people are jumping all over each other all the time, just that they WANT to say yes more than unhappily married people so they do.
I think it's a bit simplistic of anyone to say that if you just did X differently you wouldn't have broken up. Most marriages are more complex than that.
Jenna
Jenna
But but but isn't what you are saying contingent on the "we" factor?
Mondo
ITA.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
This message board has it's limitations so I try to be sensitive when posting such things. I am just writing about what I see here, but I realize that I do not have the full picture.
Jenna
It
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