Traditional roles, Are they really....
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Traditional roles, Are they really....
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am |
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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However, dh upped the price of buying that for my kids to something that would be determental to them. If my girls learned how to hold their own in a lousy marriage for hte sake of their kids for me, I think that would be great but I won't have them learning that they have to change to please someone who puts in no effort.
I don't find your observations true in my experience at all.
Smoking around the kids is wrong. Period. It is not acceptable because I knew he was a smoker before we had kids. It blows my mind that people think this way. It's ok because it was done before? Well, I guess driving around with a baby in your lap is ok too because that was done before. What a stupid statement. When you learn that practices are dangerous, you change the practice. At least someone who gives at $hit does. STBX apparently doesn't. Oh, he does now that it's going to hit him in the pocket book. That part will be fun. He is so screwed if I get the kids.
The next few months are going to be rough. He still hasn't accepted that it's over. I expect it to get ugly for a while. Keep your fingers crossed I get custody. I don't think I could take losing my girls. It's almost comical that now he wants to change when it's too late. I'm done. I've been fighting to keep things together by myself for 9 years. That's enough. It's time for him to move on to wife number 3.
And yes, it hurts. My parents were divorced and I swore I'd never do that to my kids but here I am. Fortunately, unlike my mother, I don't need a man in my life to take care of me so I don't need to shop for dh #2 and put my kids through a second marriage and complicate things.
My husband smokes outside. . .I more than understand the value of a smoke free home. . .the point is that IF his smoking (inside or outside)
Virgo
I'm just curious. . .when you decided long ago to just 'stick it out' for the kids. . .did you inform your husband that you didn't love him and you were ONLY staying for the kids?
Did you continue to share a bedroom with him? share a bed?
Did he think the marriage was in the trouble YOU seemed to think it was in at that time?
outside_the_box_mom
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