Traditional roles, Are they really....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Traditional roles, Are they really....
886
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 5:42pm
So, you went out and conceived DD#2 with a guy you found grossly disrespected you day in and day out? How did you manage that, since you couldn't possibly have sex with him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 7:08pm
Thanks for politely answering my questions which I realized after the fact came off sounding rude and judgemental. Of course over the span of years things change.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 7:25pm

I almost always agree with plenty of the other posters who are less understanding.

Mondo

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 7:26pm

What posts are you reading?


<<It's hard enough going through this wihtout all the idiots claiming it's my fault and that I should just accept him as he is and deal with it.>>


Not one person has said that. Not once, not in any post, not in any thread.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 7:26pm
It's very simplistic to say if you are not happy just leave. Most marriages don't dissolve over a matter of months but over a matter of years and if someone went into the marriage thinking "til do us part" they may hold on as long as they can until they come to the final realization they are on a sinking ship.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 7:27pm

<<You seem to be one of only a few who realize that a smoke free home for my kids is an entitlement not something I should have to earn by putting out.>>


That is beyond bizarre. It's not even close to what anyone has said. Where do you come UP with this stuff?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 8:15pm
It's nice of you to be giving the poor, poor woman ditching her DH because he had the nerve to suggest that he wasn't happy with the way she treats him the benefit of any doubt you have, but I've got to say, she's given us the history absolutely ad nauseam.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 8:36pm
TMI
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 8:43pm
What gives you any indication she has ever been done any bailing? Looks like all she wants to do is fight over who caused the leak.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 8:45pm
Nope, not the case at all. This is one of those wish I knew then what I know now. I wouldn't have worked nearly as hard at making things work in the pre baby days. Back then, he'd at least try. Once our dd's were born, I guess he figured he could do what he wanted and I couldn't do anything about it. Now he's realized I can be pushed too far even with kids but it's much too late. He'll never change.

Posters here are unreal. They call me an idiot for staying married to him and then turn around and call me an idiot for divorcing him. Whatever. There usually is more to it than what you hear on a bb. I haven't posted our entire life together. Sadly, I've come close to this point before but for reasons stuck it out. I could have saved myself a lot of greif if I'd just given up years ago. But then I wouldn't have two beautiful little girls would I?

Thanks for trying to understand. You're one of only a few here.

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