Traditional roles, Are they really....
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Traditional roles, Are they really....
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am |
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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(just meandering as I wait for yet ANOTHER late night query...)
I have firmly stated my whole life I wouldn't deal with a loveless (or respectless!) marriage for ANY reason.
Mondo
I've had my boundaries tested. . .to the point that I once filed for legal separation from dh. . .but the documentation was withdrawn because I LOVED him enough to work WITH him on our marriage. . .key words there- mutual effort.
I've also watched my dh maintain connections with our kids despite vast geographic distances. . .I think it would be much more difficult to maintain those connections despite emotional distances that couldn't eventually be bridged in the long term.
SUS
Well, as stated already, I very much understand that such a thing can happen.
The flip side, and it's probably one you don't feel like sharing, is that there is no such thing as
Mondo
As long as there is something to work with - I think that's the right way to go!! As you noted - emphasis on MUTUAL effort.
I have known maybe 2 couples in my life that remained married (due to religious convictions) tho they were no longer in love.
Mondo
God, we are so much alike it is scary. I served divorce papers on DH which he got the day that he found out his brain tumor had returned the second time. Not a stellar day. He and I decided to make another go at it. We did counseling-together, family and seperately and we fought for our marriage. It was the only way our marriage survived his cancer.
I am sure his mother cried when she found out I called off the divorce.
I also have BTDT with parents that needed to be divorced. My house was miserable growing up..silent and cold. I would not wish that amostsphere on another child. My mother actually told me she stayed with my father because of me. No guilt there..my mother is miserable and I am trapping her.
&nbs
Isn't it interesting that in the previous two mega threads smoking never ONCE reared its head as an issue in the marriage?
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
Doesn't really sound like someone who was nobly suffering through her DH's gross disrespect for her over the last 9 years.
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