Traditional roles, Are they really....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Traditional roles, Are they really....
886
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 6:36pm
Sorry cookie, you need to buy a clue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 6:42pm
I have the burden of dispelling your baseless opinion. . . why? I guess you must have me confused with someone who cares what a person who feels herself qualified to comment (despite being completely uninformed) thinks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 7:54pm
You say there is proof that she is wrong. I don't see it in this thread. If it exists somewhere else, why should I believe you just cause you say so? I have read this thread, which makes me informed. I think you are mislead if you think you have her whole life story.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:02pm
Why does anyone have kids with someone they end up divorcing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:03pm
Exactly what am I supposed to do? Tolerate him smoking around the kids in order to have peace in the family? Remold myself in the image of what he and Laura S. think I should be? Do it all myself so he doesn't have to be bothered?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:13pm
Yes, I'd say lousy for years. The years since the girls were born that is (which is why I'm scratching my head over those who keep asking why I had kids with hime).

One question Virgo, did your husband simply disregard you for years as if you didn't matter? You are not hearing what I'm saying. I've asked him for 10 years not to smoke around me and the kids. He calls me a nag. When does he finally take it outside? When I call a lawyer. If your dh smoked and you asked him to take it outside, would he? Would he show you that much consideration? It gets really hard to love someone who ignores what you want when what you want should be an entitlement. The girls and I are entitled to not have smoke blown in our faces.

Unfortunately, it took me way too long to realize that the girls and I are just a means to an end for him. It's time to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:15pm
Thank you again. Very well said.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:17pm
Yup, you would know.

Did it ever dawn on you that the smoking is an EXAMPLE and not the end all be all. I gave an EXAMPLE of why someone might not feel like having sex with someone. Namely the kind of disrespect STBX shows when he smokes around me and the kids in spite of having been asked a million times not to. Did it ever dawn on you that it started small and grew? The more I asked, the more it bothered me that he wouldn't take it outside. Over time, you just get sick of it. But of course you knew that because you know everything about me.


Edited 9/30/2004 8:19 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:21pm
Which is why I'm leaving. We have reached the point of no return. It came in the form of a book thrown in my face.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:22pm
Only if the wife is a prostitute.

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