Traditional roles, Are they really....
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Traditional roles, Are they really....
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am |
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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I don't know whether I'm just an idiot and couldn't see the truth or if it's just so awful I didn't want to see the truth but I didn't see it until after the girls were born. Then it became apparent that something was really wrong. Before kids, he had to stay on good behavior to keep me from leaving and taking my paycheck with me (he gets way more out of boasting about being married to an engineer than I've ever gotten out of being one). After the girls were born, I guess he figured he was scot free and could do whatever he wanted without risk to his retirement plan, namely my income.
The part that's really going to bother me is having to give him half of my pension. He has no pension because he's never managed to stay in one place long enough to get one. It won't amount to much for him though as there is 12 years between our ages. He'll be collecting that pension so early it won't be worth much to him. Unfortunately it will cost me when I retire.
Boy did this turn out backwards. I figured I'd be retireing on his pension as I never thought I'd have a job with a pension. Oh well. Time to pay the piper. I'm just hoping they don't slam me on alimony. The only reason I make more than him is he doesn't want to make more. He likes working for mom and pop organizations where he can go in when he wants, get off when he wants and take as much vacation as he wants. He'd be making twice what I am if he'd taken the job he was offered when dd#1 was 6 months old and he'd have a pension too boot.
My lawyer says the court will consider that he never bothered with retirement savings or staying somewhere long enough to get a pension because he knows he's going to inherit from his parents estate. I don't know how much that will help me but he says it will be considered in the division of property.
"Hasty conclusions are the mark of a fool" Sign in front of a church
Kristi
&nbs
I think it's a defense mechanism. GK strikes me as someone who feels more comfortable if she sees things as black and white. "DC is best." "Piano lessons are good." "My marriage was and is bad."
I think she has conflicts about divorce. I think she may be able to deal with that conflict, especially putting her dds through it, better if she can make is an "absolute."
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