Traditional roles, Are they really....
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Traditional roles, Are they really....
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am |
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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What I am doing is being the best role model I can be under the circumstances. I doesn't matter which way I go, it will be bad for a while but after the divorce dust settles, life will get better. Staying married, it would never get better because I'm not following the instructions I've been given.
Is it that I wouldn't let him blow smoke in his kids faces?
Is it that I expected him to help clean the house?
Is it because I refused to consider letting him retire with NOTHING in the way of retirement income?
Exactly what did I do to cause this?
Sorry dear. You're barking up the wrong tree. I'm the reason this marriage stayed together as long as it did not the reason it failed.
I do have one BIG fault here. I hate to fail. I will strive not to fail long after I should have given up. This marriage should never have lasted as long as it did. Pride goeth before a fall. But, I did get two beautiful children and played the part of a stabilizing force in my ss's lives. Those are the good things that came out of it.
FTR, My ss's are on my side. My MIL, while she doesn't support the divorce, has offered to give her son a talking to, lol, as if that would help. The only people who aren't on my side are people who know a little about the situation and think they know a lot (years ago I actually had a counselor tell me to get a divorce but we were Baptist back then and you DID NOT GET DIVORCED!!!!!). My MIL doesn't know it but she really helped me make the decision to just leave. Even his mother can see it. I didn't want to. It is very hard to admit my marriage is a dismal failure. I do not like to fail. But my ss's understand. The youngest asked me what took me so long. The oldest isn't happy but is supportive. His dad is his hero (he's the one who is not dh's but dh raised him as his son anyway when his first wife left) and he'd much rather see him happy.
The divorce will make most of my family happy. None of them cared for him. My mother told me after the ceremoney "It's not too late to tear up that marriage license". She told me back then that he was just using me. I should have listened to her but I was young and I think in love with the idea of being in loved and being needed. So many people have tried to tell me but I'm too damned stubborn to listen.
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