Traditional roles, Are they really....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Traditional roles, Are they really....
886
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:04am
healthy for women or men? Let me just preface this by saying I have been living in a traditional role my entire married life. Dh brings home the paycheck and I raise the kids. This past weekend we came from a family gathering that involved all the women working and all of the men sitting and watching sports. Frankly, I am sick of it.I am completely wiped out after those things! I have four kids, two of which are 3 and 5 and need to be supervised, so I am working twice as hard! Just this morning dh told me not to buy anything without clearing it with him first....bleck! I am beginning to feel as if the kids get short changed when families are traditional. Dads don't interact with their kids as much as they should. Moms get to feel like a slave to their families. I am beginning to feel as if it is best for families if the mom at least works part time because then the dh can be more active in parenting and keeping up the household. This is sort of a vent but a debate as well. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.~Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:05pm
You just have to look at a train wreck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:06pm
No need to. I assume you can actually read the words you've posted. Until you prove something, it's just blather.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:08pm
Do tell. Exactly how this is my fault! You don't like that I blame dh for the failure of our marriage yet you can't show that I'm at fault.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:09pm
And I am. Care to tell how being either an engineer or a teacher is being a bad role model?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:12pm
Nope we've been through counseling and we've both known for a while that there is no love lost between us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:29pm
You fought for your marriage by . . . drumroll . . . not divorcing sooner? Oh. Excuse me, you're right, you really put yourself on the line and went the extra mile there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:34pm
Smoking around the kids is a sign of deep disrespect. It's the disrespect and everything that goes with it that lead to my divorcing him.



So you think I should have just let him smoke around the kids? I disagree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:35pm
Yes, I did. I've put up with a lot of crap. Needlessly, unfortunately because we ended up in divorce court anyhow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:36pm

I haven't read every post in this or the other threads involving your current situation, but I haven't seen a single one that referenced that you and your stbxh ever attempted counseling. I think that had that been even briefly mentioned, much less had it been talked about as much as "the book", that the response on this board would have been much different.


I'm not passing judgement at all. I've been in your shoes and I reeeeeeeeallllllyyyyy

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:37pm
What type of work does he do that he is allowed to come in when he wants, leave when he wants, and take as much vaction as he wants?

The reason I ask is that dh and his partner are a small operation. The whole firm is 10 FT employees and 1 PT employee (me). The only ones who are allowed to do whatever they want are dh and his partner. And of course, they work more than anyone else. I have never heard of a business, no matter how small, that allowed their employees to work whenever they want to and take as much vacation as they want to no matter how small.

I am really just curious, not trying to pick on you.

Jenna

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