Truth be told
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|Wed, 06-25-2003 - 10:22am|
Since I have been home with her and the other kids (and at the same time, I realized that the one dck that I have is going to school herself in three short years), made me realize how fortunate I was to be able to have all that time with her for those wonderful bonding experiances...
WHACK...bang...splat..."oh mmmooommmmyyyyyyy......I just broke your angel on accident, it was sitting on the table and the ball jumped out of my hands and landed right on it! Honestly, it wasn't my fault!"
Ok, I take that all back...I am currently looking forward to first grade starting. I am not used to her being here all the time. I am not used to her placing all her needs on me. I am not used to keeping her amused and trying to convince her that life isn't horrible and that she will see her friends again and playing on her own is actually a good thing.
She was gone 1/2 day 5 days a week for 180 days. *That* is what she is used to and what she enjoys. *That* is what I am used to and also enjoy it. Bad mommy that I may be, I am extremely grateful for the times that I was able to put her in the family dc's that we used during my WOH time periods. I am extremly grateful for school and all the happiness it brings to her. I am extremly grateful for the bonds that she has made with adults other then myself. But most of all, I am extremely grateful for having the knowledge within myself to realize that my daughters wants and wishes have absolutly nothing to do with me. She wants to go back to school NOW...not because she doesn't love me...but because she enjoys it. Just like she used to ask to go to dc when it was closed. Not because she didn't love me or want to be around me...but she LIKED those times away from me too.
I don't think there is one end all right way for this debate. I think it is all choices and what benefits your family best. One may sah because that is what they feel is right...and another might work because that is what they feel is right. Someone may not like any type of formal schooling and choose to homeschool. While the other might think family dc is not a great place and will only use centers. Others swear by centers at the best choice. One might work for a higher SES and whatever that might bring to them...another thinks living without cable, growing their own vegetables and raising pigs so they can stay home is the best way to go. One might think that they are only equal to their partner if they bring home a paycheck, while another doesn't look at the monetary aspect at all.
We are all different, we have all chosen differently....our families, our wants, wishes and dreams just are not the same. That is called life....
(misty, who is having a moment...sniffle, sniffle)