Truth be told

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Truth be told
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 10:22am
As I was looking at my 6YO the other day, I finally realized that time does go by very fast. She starts first grade in the fall and it absolutly amazed me how much limited time I was going to have with her and how much time I have had with her in the past. I almost started crying thinking of all that I might miss while she is in school. Someone else is going to do the bulk of teaching her to read (like *I* have patience for *that*...snort), she is going to make friends that I have never met and have absolutly no control over. Her teacher may or may not like her, but again...I won't be able to do a whole bunch about it.

Since I have been home with her and the other kids (and at the same time, I realized that the one dck that I have is going to school herself in three short years), made me realize how fortunate I was to be able to have all that time with her for those wonderful bonding experiances...

WHACK...bang...splat..."oh mmmooommmmyyyyyyy......I just broke your angel on accident, it was sitting on the table and the ball jumped out of my hands and landed right on it! Honestly, it wasn't my fault!"

Ok, I take that all back...I am currently looking forward to first grade starting. I am not used to her being here all the time. I am not used to her placing all her needs on me. I am not used to keeping her amused and trying to convince her that life isn't horrible and that she will see her friends again and playing on her own is actually a good thing.

She was gone 1/2 day 5 days a week for 180 days. *That* is what she is used to and what she enjoys. *That* is what I am used to and also enjoy it. Bad mommy that I may be, I am extremely grateful for the times that I was able to put her in the family dc's that we used during my WOH time periods. I am extremly grateful for school and all the happiness it brings to her. I am extremly grateful for the bonds that she has made with adults other then myself. But most of all, I am extremely grateful for having the knowledge within myself to realize that my daughters wants and wishes have absolutly nothing to do with me. She wants to go back to school NOW...not because she doesn't love me...but because she enjoys it. Just like she used to ask to go to dc when it was closed. Not because she didn't love me or want to be around me...but she LIKED those times away from me too.

I don't think there is one end all right way for this debate. I think it is all choices and what benefits your family best. One may sah because that is what they feel is right...and another might work because that is what they feel is right. Someone may not like any type of formal schooling and choose to homeschool. While the other might think family dc is not a great place and will only use centers. Others swear by centers at the best choice. One might work for a higher SES and whatever that might bring to them...another thinks living without cable, growing their own vegetables and raising pigs so they can stay home is the best way to go. One might think that they are only equal to their partner if they bring home a paycheck, while another doesn't look at the monetary aspect at all.

We are all different, we have all chosen differently....our families, our wants, wishes and dreams just are not the same. That is called life....

(misty, who is having a moment...sniffle, sniffle)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 11:57am
I agree Misty. I think we are all different and there is no black & white answers--although a few people around here debate like there is. ; )

I have a 6 year old dd starting 1st grade in the fall too--the only difference is her kindergarten was full day. She's not complaining too much about missing school yet--she gets to play with her sister a lot more. But she does miss her friends.


VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 10:51pm
awwwwww, that was so sweet. i remember those feelings.....i remember when my kids actually loved school....i remember when they were so innocent, and had no clue how really ugly the world can be. i remember crying when ds1 started kindergarten, and dd asked me why i was crying. i remember holding each one for the first time, and just kissing their little faces until they got so big, i had to wrestle them to the ground to get "just one kiss".

i also remember when they got into jr high, and the girls were catty and didnt like my dd because she wouldnt buy into their games, and i had to just let her know, the real world really isnt like that and someday she will have gangs of friends(as she does now). or when my boys got bullied in jr high, because they were "a little different". i also remember the phone calls home that one kid was failing one class, the other one had detention for saying bad words, another just got beat up pretty badly, and you need to come now. learning my "baby"(ds1) had a gun held up to him on the school bus, and dd was there to witness it, or (gasp) one of them had a cell phone in school.....yadah, yadah, yadh,

and now, i remember just this morning going upstairs to kiss my almost 21yo(in three weeks)before he left to go home to florida and thinking how beautiful he is as he was when he was little, whiskers and all!! LOL, and i remember talking to my dd on the phone today when she told me she didnt think she would ever be unhappy with her boyfriend ever. i remember hearing my dh tell me a couple hours ago ds2 who is in nj, worked side by side with his uncle today to earn some extra money. and i also remember opening up an email from my dh at work today, of a picture of beautiful flowers because we started dating 30!, count em, 30 years ago today. and i remember calling my girlfriend this morning to remind her of the day she hooked dh and i up that pretty june afternoon in 1973.

have i made mistakes over the years? you bet i have!! do i regret having kids? no. or would i still have them, had i known then what i know today. you bet!!! why??? because despite all the things we did wrong, we must have done a bunch right, because, well, i had a day like today. did my woh make a difference as to whether they could reach me today or not. NOPE, NOT ONE BIT!!

get over your moment misty!!! you have work to do! LOL.