Unique contributions to society

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Unique contributions to society
1504
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 4:12pm

In another thread, the "unique" contributions of SAHM's were alluded to but it wasn't stated what they are. Let's play a game and find out what they are. First, pretend that as of tomorrow, all moms SAH and detail what will be missing from society then pretend that all moms go to work and detail what will be missing from society. I'm really curious as to what people think a world without SAHM's orWOHM's would look like.

If all the moms who SAH went to work then the library would move story hour to the evening and summer vacation bible school would be held in the evenings so that all kids can attend and not just the kids of SAHM's. Banks would likely shift their hours to later in the day and you'd see more 24 hour stores. I think there would be more home cooking style restaurants too. I think day care centers would improve because of increased demand.

If all moms who WOH suddenly SAH, you'd see fewer service industries around because moms could do things themselves instead of paying for them. The nursing shortage would be more of a shortage. We'd probably have a shortage of teachers too. There'd be fewer government services because there'd be less tax dollars to pay for them. I can't think of anything else right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:47pm
so...what *does* she do? and why do you pay her? LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2006
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:52pm

It depends on the thing that is being discussed I suppose. When it comes to cars, my husband knows more about them then I do... better he pick out a car, or suggest a few cars, that I like as well, since he knows what he's talking about. Same with computers... he knows more about all the details about how powerful a computer is.. wouldn't make sense for me to pick one if it's not up to his standards.

It's not a power struggle, but relinquishing final decision to the person who can make a more informed decision.

When it comes to raising our children, we may have argued about a few things, but it wasn't heated, and we did come down to an agreement on whatever topic... But for things like college fund, there was no argument, just a discussion on how much can we spare each month for savings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:58pm
That definition of "high powered" applies to many minimum wage workers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:58pm
I would define that as more "powerless" than high-powered. The people that I know who are in that boat are mainly those living very hand to mouth with no sick leave left for the year.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:03pm
Yup - my dd did softball for the first time at 10 and swim team for the first time at 11.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:12pm
Me too. I may be naive (not much dating experience) but that type of "power tripping" marriage just seems sad. I like my quiet and calm marriage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:24pm
Huh? Why ever not?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:27pm

Wait, don't you have a SAH friend whom you are close to? You say you two get along because you are both passionate about DIFFERENT THINGS.

From what I see, each partner usually has a "domain" they are most knowledgeable about, and make the decisions about.

That's not a power vacuum, it's efficiency. Now, if someone feels their mate consistently makes decisions poorly in EVERY area of their life - then there is something deeper that needs to be addressed.

My friend the landscaper has a big house and backyard (canyon view), 100% Pottery Barn (and dontcha know I love it!). He gets everything outdoors, she gets everything indoors. He makes business related decisions (he has at least 25 employees now), she makes all household decisions.

That's a pretty traditional setup, and it works for them. Dual income folks do have to work things out differently since the domain lines are no longer clear - and this is where constant collaboration becomes key. Regardless, if you are focused on WINNING, instead of COOPERATING, I can see where it would be a problem.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:29pm
I've had periods in my marriage where I was on leave without pay -- during the first year of the lives of each of the boys, and not having money coming in didn't make a dime's worth of difference in the power differential in our marriage. We sorted out the power issues BEFORE we got married -- there were a few. There haven't been any since.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:34pm
But I'd say don't feel sorry for them.

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