Unique contributions to society

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Unique contributions to society
1504
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 4:12pm

In another thread, the "unique" contributions of SAHM's were alluded to but it wasn't stated what they are. Let's play a game and find out what they are. First, pretend that as of tomorrow, all moms SAH and detail what will be missing from society then pretend that all moms go to work and detail what will be missing from society. I'm really curious as to what people think a world without SAHM's orWOHM's would look like.

If all the moms who SAH went to work then the library would move story hour to the evening and summer vacation bible school would be held in the evenings so that all kids can attend and not just the kids of SAHM's. Banks would likely shift their hours to later in the day and you'd see more 24 hour stores. I think there would be more home cooking style restaurants too. I think day care centers would improve because of increased demand.

If all moms who WOH suddenly SAH, you'd see fewer service industries around because moms could do things themselves instead of paying for them. The nursing shortage would be more of a shortage. We'd probably have a shortage of teachers too. There'd be fewer government services because there'd be less tax dollars to pay for them. I can't think of anything else right now.

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:20pm
No problem with that. For me, sah helped my family more than woh would have. Now that the kids are older, the balance swings the other way. I've gotten personal satisfaction from both sah and woh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:21pm
I'll counter that with an exchange my homeschooling SAH friend related to me (do I get extra points here for the homeschooling?). She and her husband recently bought a new house, and he, the breadwinner, was objecting to some of the features in the home she and her girls preferred as being unnecessary, frivolous, etc -- stuff like an extra bathroom, screened in porch, family room AND den. Her response was "You're on the road for or five days a week. The girls and I live in the house all the time. We have to buy what we think we need because we're the ones who live in the house most of the time." She got the house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:28pm
No, it doesn't take forever. Sometimes it takes a while, but that taking a while is well worth it. I'd rather wait 6 weeks to decide about our kitchen renovation than have our relationship damaged.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:31pm

You're right, it's not a skill or personality trait that either DH or I have. We are nowhere near patient enough to do all that.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:32pm

....and what if the wohm doesn't use child care to begin with and perhaps the sahm does?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:36pm

But I'm married to someone who doesn't mind me making the overwhelmingly majority of what may be joing decisions in your household.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:39pm

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Heck, Allen is only the kids' stepfather. And there are times when he knows more about one of them/the situation than I do. In the beginning, I was very much "in control" of all kid-related things; they were my kids, not his. Now? Not so much. I run almost all non-routine decisions by him (the bigger ones run by their dad too) and sometimes his input is CRUCIAL. Sometimes, it is my input that isn't even needed. (i.e. He and Callahan are going on a scout trip this weekend; that was almost 100% Allen's decision.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:41pm
Somewhat. But you've oversimplified us. There are a hundred little decisions that Allen doesn't care about. But I don't assume that. I ask anyway and let HIM decide he doesn't care. Even then, I often get his input anyway. (He might say "I like X better, but I really don't care, get what you want." -- and even though I *know* that will be his response, I ask anyway. Because I don't ever want him to feel he's not an equal partner or that I'm not considering his needs/wants.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:54pm

I think DH and I have this Venn Diagram thing going. there's a lot of stuff, we are totally independent. I don't care what kind of car he drives because I know he wouldn't pick out something that would work for the whole family. He doesn't know where or how often I go out to lunch with friends or the extent of my charitable giving until the end of the year because he trusts my spending habits. We make big decisions, like where the kids are going to school, together after extensive research. We plan vacations together, but we also take separate trips from time to time. Any time I put the kids in an activity that would possibly involve him driving them places or showing up, he gets asked. The little one joined chess club at school some months back and we forgot to tell him -- because all it involves is going to school one day a week early, and DH is gone by the time the little guy leaves. I buy all the kids clothes at this point, I don't bother running it by him that one has outgrown his winter coat so should I get the other one a new coat while I am at it? I just do, or don't...

We have a couple of rooms in the house -- three, to be precise, he has told me to do what I want in there -- the guest bedroom and bathroom, and the one I use for crafting/sewing. He couldn't care less what we do in the kids' rooms in the way of decorating. Anything in our bedroom or the public space in the house, he wants veto power over. Sometimes he has a bright idea of his own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 3:54pm
And some who do!

Sabina


Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

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