Unique contributions to society

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Unique contributions to society
1504
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 4:12pm

In another thread, the "unique" contributions of SAHM's were alluded to but it wasn't stated what they are. Let's play a game and find out what they are. First, pretend that as of tomorrow, all moms SAH and detail what will be missing from society then pretend that all moms go to work and detail what will be missing from society. I'm really curious as to what people think a world without SAHM's orWOHM's would look like.

If all the moms who SAH went to work then the library would move story hour to the evening and summer vacation bible school would be held in the evenings so that all kids can attend and not just the kids of SAHM's. Banks would likely shift their hours to later in the day and you'd see more 24 hour stores. I think there would be more home cooking style restaurants too. I think day care centers would improve because of increased demand.

If all moms who WOH suddenly SAH, you'd see fewer service industries around because moms could do things themselves instead of paying for them. The nursing shortage would be more of a shortage. We'd probably have a shortage of teachers too. There'd be fewer government services because there'd be less tax dollars to pay for them. I can't think of anything else right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 7:15pm
Could you give an example, because I'm not sure I understand? (Or is this another thing that won't apply to me because I have this freak of nature marriage? LOL)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 7:46pm

An engineer and a secretary. They live in a modest house. The engineer is layed off, looks for work, but needs to move to another state to obtain job of similar status. The wife does NOT want to go and would rather live off their savings (sizable) for a while to look longer in town. He's not OK with that after a year. They go anyway.

Same couple, the husband decides since he has to work on second masters to keep his new job (his first masters is 20 years old and is no longer marketable), he won't own a home with maintenance issues anymore. He wants a small apartment, near work - so he doesn't have to commute - since he'll be woking (with school) from 8am - 11pm and 8 hours on weekends on average. Even though this means being in a questionable area of town. Wife hates the area. Oh well, they go anyway.

Practicality dictates it in *his* opinion even though I probably could come up with a solution that would make the wife happier (heck, my very own situation is huge compromise on my part for my DH, so are our car choices, etc.) . Because she can't or won't make up the difference, and he can't risk "humoring" her at the risk of not being able to support them.

It's a mix if a certain type of inflexibility - and often, fear.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 7:49pm

You should definitely know your marriage is exceptionally freaky :)

I don't know anyone else who would be OK with your choices AS A COUPLE (meaning, either you had extremely similar viewpoints to begin with - or one of you is incredibly layed back and go-with-the-flow). Even though clearly it's worked well for you guys.

See, all the flexing I've done to accommodate DH hasn't helped us any, if anything, I'm much worse off (financially). Maybe I should just tell him what to do. But then, I wouldn't have anyone to blame it on if things went wrong!!!

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 8:08pm
How do you know he has never had a situation like that? He would not even know if he did unless the conversation took place in front of him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 8:22pm
Hmmm... well, both of those situations look like the "lesser earner" is makin impractical choices. They aren't getting vetoed because of less "power" in the relationship, it's because they are being stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 8:24pm
We both have similar common goals, and we both support eachother's individual goals wholeheartedly. I think we're also extremely flexible on how we get there. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:20pm
By whom?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:25pm

YOu know, it was trash day today for our street, and I was thinking of this post re: people feeling good about what they do and I thought "wow, she really doesn't get it". . . I don't think any of us would consider trash collector as a feel good job, but it sure as heck is a major contribution to society. Just think of New York when the sanitation strike occured or London. . . and you'll know exactly what kind of contribution that job is to society. Or how about Philly during the transportation strike. Or what about all the road workers, imagine if they just stopped painting lines on the street or the dock workers. . . what if they stopped unloading ships. I think most jobs actually have a pretty huge impact on society even ones that are not "do gooder" jobs. And outside of an agraian society they are all very necessary (well except for those evil people who work at evil insurance companies, but that's another story).

So I actually think each working person is contributing to society and that is borne out by the economic ripple effect that occurs if all people in that sector stopped performing the job.

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:26pm

My 7-yr-old does this all the time. While I have a certain admiration for her stubborness, I can't see that taking the hard road has earned her any respect.

Really, you'd have to have a good reason to take the hard road, or think there was something better at the end of it, for it to be the best choice. I can't see choosing something just because it's harder.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:27pm
Uh oh. I must be getting too predictable. ;) I am getting weary of this "sahms-are-useless-excuses-for-human-beings-while-wohms-are-saints-just-for-holding-a-job" line of thinking.

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