the value of having a SAHP

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
the value of having a SAHP
549
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 8:57am

Whatever your circumstances, and whatever your family's complex mixture of reasons for choosing to have a SAHP, or not....


do you see any value at all, for a typical child, in having a SAHP (either short term or long term)?


Even if in your family, the many benefits of having dual-WOHPs outweigh any potential benefits of having a SAHP (or if having a SAHP is literally impossible for whatever reason), do you actually acknowledge that that are benefits to be had by choosing to have a SAHP?


(on the assumption that the hypothetical SAHP is happy to SAH, and puts a lot into it)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:44am

I certainly was available 24/7 to my kids through toddlerhood, but most of the SAHMs I knew actively preferred not to be that available, and routinely had babysitters or family taking care the kids. Many were horrified at the idea of comfort nursing, so it certainly wouldn't have been considered a benefit of having a SAHP. Ultimately, that's the problem with determining what would constitute a universal benefit of having a SAHP...what is considered beneficial varies too widely.

There were many benefits to my family of having a SAHP (I was at home for about 6 years), but those benefits were pretty specific to our family situation. There are a number of benefits to my family that my current job provides (beyond the money), but again those benefits are quite specific to our family situation and are not applicable for most families. I think in general the benefits of either status are specific to family needs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:49am
I too know people who like their preschool kids to have a certain amount of non-parental group time, whether that be in DC, preschools, church classes, whatever, but I've honestly never met anyone who did that for a child that was under about 2.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:55am

I don't know about lIza but I found time away from the parental units to be beneficial when she was a baby and a young toddler....

..but it was beneficial for ME....I was the WORST parent durig those night mare years...good lord that was awful.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:58am

aren't most babies home with their parents--presumably possibly the one equipped with boobs--when they are sick?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:58am
No. I see no benefits to the child whatsoever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:00am

Dylan certainly benefited from being in the care of others besides me at an early age. His idea of personal space and mine don't meet at all. He needed a lot more close contact with another person than I could handle. Having his sisters, dh, and dc provide that saved my sanity. He also activily thrived on the natural chaos of being in a family home dc with 5-8 other children (up to Kindergarten age with 2 adults) instead of being with 5 adults/near-adults 24/7.

Chris

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:01am

I think there are pros and cons to any decision, being a sahp included.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:03am

Well, in our case I would have preferred dd to start as a young toddler (between 1-1.5 years of age) and, yes, I would have preferred 20-25 hours per week at that age as well. In our case, the preference for earlier dc with a minimum amount of time per week had to do with preferring early exposure to the local languages. Many of our friends (mostly international families) had similar preferences.

We did have the option of earlier dc for ds when we lived in Switzerland, and we took the opportunity for as long as we could. I worked on my master's thesis and he went to a local dc for about 20 hours per week starting from when he was about 20 months old and ending about 1.5 years later when we moved to Sweden. We didn't have the option of dc/preschool for dd until I landed a job in Sweden (very complicated situation in Sweden at that time). Thus, she only started when she was nearly 3, which was later than we would have preferred.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:04am

>> The kids learned to accept other means of comfort when Mom wasn't available -- just like the ...<<

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:06am

>>except for a degree of constancy<<


which is in some people's minds a MAJOR benefit, and not a throwaway afterthought


>>does it strike you as at all meaningful that you've had to tell a wohp that you consider her a sahp in order to make your rationalizations work? i mean it's nice and all that you are willing to invite

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