the value of having a SAHP

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
the value of having a SAHP
549
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 8:57am

Whatever your circumstances, and whatever your family's complex mixture of reasons for choosing to have a SAHP, or not....


do you see any value at all, for a typical child, in having a SAHP (either short term or long term)?


Even if in your family, the many benefits of having dual-WOHPs outweigh any potential benefits of having a SAHP (or if having a SAHP is literally impossible for whatever reason), do you actually acknowledge that that are benefits to be had by choosing to have a SAHP?


(on the assumption that the hypothetical SAHP is happy to SAH, and puts a lot into it)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:31am
I do think that certain children have temperaments that are better suited to SAH parenting than to daycare. As a small child, my mom could drop me off outside the gates of the nursery school, and I would run inside and be happy as a clam to stay there all day every day. My sister, on the other hand, found separation from mom to be an extremely upsetting experience, and to leave her for 40 hours a week would be borderline traumatic for her. I think being a SAHP would give a person the flexibility to adjust the degree and timing of separation and socialization that best suits the temperament of each individual child.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:32am

then what is the benefit to constancy? (and, in case there is any confusion, constancy and consistancy are not synonomous.)


the drawbacks i see to it are that is creates unnecessary stress. no one can do anything constantly

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:35am
Ah...thank you for saying that. My DH and I have an agreement, when I am not in school, we each get an evening or afternoon to go do our own thing. Sometimes I feel guilty for looking forward to my hours away, but it is what it is. I know when I have five or six days in a row of not being away from my kids, I need that time away and am a better parent when I get home than I was when I left.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:37am

One of the reasons we alternated putting liza to bed each night was so i could literally flee the houseon the nights I didn't have to put her to bed...;-)

I seriously was not enthralled wiith the infant and toddler years. I did not find them precious i did not find them amusing I found them to be the Bataan Death march of parenting.

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:44am

I really struggle with the infant stage. I keep telling DH if we have any more kids, we're going to adopt them after they start sleeping through the night and eating solids. Or find one of those women who love babies and ask them to take the child for the first six months.

On the other hand, I LOVE toddlers. Even the terrible 2s, because I get a (maybe weird) sense of admiration and affection for kids who are stubborn and defiant and pushing for independence.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:45am
Kelly and I agreed we'd only have a child if we could adopt an 18 year old swedish volleyball player ;-)
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:50am

LOL.

Funny, when my mom was in the empty next phase, I think my dad suggested the same thing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:55am

"I did not find them precious i did not find them amusing I found them to be the Bataan Death march of parenting. "


Yes.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:56am

Me too!

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:58am

Liza as a toddler --
think cruella de ville meets the tazmanian devil....

it wasn't pretty. it wasn't amusing and it CERTAINLY wasn't fun. it. was. hell.

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

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