"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
(sigh) I give up.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
No...I think that is idiocy. I think it is ridiculous for anyone to say that to another person. Just like jjbean said...She was miserable at home...I was miserable working. It is just difference. I don't know anyone that would say that to a WOHM. IF they did I would disagree totally. I do know a woman in our neighborhood...She has a degree from NYU in advertising. She is going to be a SAHM forever and never go back to work. I don't get why she is doing that, but that isn't up to me. SHe is quite the keep up with the Joneses and they are swimming in debt. I want to go back to work when my kids are in school even if it is part time. I think it is a great help to the family bank account.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005

Well ladies, my DD's therapy is over soon and I have to get her. I have a great day.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
I'm old enough to be your mother, young lady, so if I say to you that I've heard it all, you'll just have to take my word for it. You may be right, but I don't think so...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
I can understand being greedy and materialistic. I can also understand SAH. I can even understand being in debt. But all 3 at the same time? No effing way!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
LOL... maybe so. :) I just think that a SAHM is more likely to hear nasty comments about SAHMS than a WOHM, and vice versa. Of course, you may have been both like I have. :) FTR, I actually never heard one negative comment when I was a FTWOHM. That's probably not common though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Or how about 3.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
No, I actually don't have any direct experience with these kinds of comments; I've only heard about them. I think it mainly reflects hanging out with too many trashy people more than any considered points of view.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

"Yes I would say most men would want their wives to be home."


Most blue collar male workers?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
That's probably true, but I don't think it would sting any less for the person who heard it.

Pages