"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004

My dh has a problem with daycare also. He and I worked opposite shifts when our kids were small. It was very important to him that one of us was home with the kids. I realize it is not the norm, but I don't think he liked what he heard from coworkers who were using othercare.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

So you being a good parent (in your opinion, in your life)

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
I'm just cheap!!! LOL They charge a lot less to check it than they do to do the whole thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Did I read that you were going to go back to work soon in another thread?


If so, do you feel your parenting will change or the foundation that you are laying with your children will change as well?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
My dh had some bad experiences as a child. We have worked opposite shifts before, and he has also SAH before. Whether or not his fears are rational, it doesn't matter to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Good point.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004

My dd is a freshman in college and I think that she would react the same way that you did to SAH. While at home for winter break (3 weeks) she was climbing the walls because she wasn't feeling productive. She has always been "wired" to need to be on the go and engaged.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

<>


That's not even close to what she said.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I love little boys with a devilish sparkle in their eye (big boys, too!) ;)


Edited 1/13/2006 2:23 pm ET by mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Yes, only because I was so miserable at work. I couldn't get home before 6:30 at night. My dd was asleep by 7:30. I never felt good. I do think me being miserable was affecting her. I was happier when I quit and therefore I felt like I was a better parent.

Pages