"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Well it is hard to compare my children...being as my DD didn't have a father around, and my 2 younger children do.

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I would disagree with you here. If a mother that worked and hated working and was miserable, then I think the foundation would be very different for her children. Just as the OP stated...she was sick, angry, and crying all the time as a SAHM..her DD foundation was not a good one until her mother went to work.

The foundation for my younger children are much better than my DD, due to no father being around. Even now that he wants to be a father...he is a moron. She knows it, and tells me whenever she visits him. I just listen quietly.

IMHO I don't think my family life would be as happy as it is now if I had WOHM when my children were born. It is just what I feel would have been the case. It would have been a crazy lifestyle...I don't think it would have been a good experience. As for long term effects...I will never know.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

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Yes it is... *** However, after years at college and dating/marrying me he has actually said on his own that he would never be attracted to someone who was intending on staying home after kids. *** Post 1257

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Yes it is...***I guess there are a certain group of men who believe and want this, but I have always found those type of men to be insecure and scared of women's power.*** Post 1257

What's the difference if a women while in college and still dating tells her date that SHE WILL SAH when they have kids while he works to support them?

She flipped her statement to say what he finds unattractive are women who in college would say "I can't wait to have kids and stay home" or women who automatically have determined they are just bidding time until staying home with kids. Good grief...anyone woman that would talk about SAH with kids while they are on a date is in more trouble than being unattractive. I can't imagine that nor do I know anyone that has ever done that. So I won't comment here.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I am just getting home most days around 10am from the morning shuffle to school.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ok Let me spell it out. They WOH to take part in raising their children. They couldn't do what they think is necessary for their children if they didn't work. Is that better? You may not know any...I do.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
PumpkinANgel just said it...and we have another poster here that said the same thing. I don't remember which one it was. It was in another thread. PA might remember who it was.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I was using DWI as an example. It would give the officer probable cause to search the vehicle.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
THey might be nice but their attire is ridiculous.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
No problem...she asked why he wouldn't be restrained.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

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As I have said to you before, the foundation should not be based on the feelings of the parent either, it's not about the parents all the time.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

.....and she clarified to you in post 1282 ( I think that's the number, you responded to it)


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I quote from above.

PumpkinAngel

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