"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005

<>

You said he always wanted a sah wife until he met you. From your first post: <>

Did he meet you in college? Because then you're not making sense. Are you saying after he met you and you changed his lifetime of deluding himself that he wanted a sah wife, he then proceeded to tell you which women *in college* he thought were and were not attractive because they wanted to sah?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005

Oh, didn't you know? He's apparently <<..insecure and scared of women's power.>>

My DH has an MBA and a JD and lacking in confidence is definitely not an accurate description!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
I don't use that phrase because I understand people may be sensitive to it. The only people who've made that comment to me are men, whether their own wives woh or sah. As in, "That's great you're a full-time mom" and "Do you sah to raise your kids?" What are your thoughts on that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004

On what planet?

Seeing someone move across the line does not give you probable cause to search. And search for what? It doesn't even give you reasonable suspicion for a pat down. Go look up reasonable suspicion, which is a lesser standard, Terry stop and frisk and compare with probable cause, the latter of which is what is necessary for a warrant issued by a judicial officer. The fact that Bushie forms probable cause in his cockamamie head, assuming he knows what that means, does not give him the right to execute warrantless searches.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
You don't need probable cause to pull someone over. You need probable cause to arrest. You need P/C to get warrants. You only need reasonable suspicion to pull someone over, otherwise known as a "stop." Committing a moving violation in front of a police officer is grounds for a stop, and for issuing a ticket, which does not involve P/C.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
That is exactly what I was stating all along! I stated that your work status COULD affect your parenting. I did not say it did in all circumstances. Another poster stated she was miserable at home. It is the same thing.


Edited 1/14/2006 9:06 am ET by mom2megandemily
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005

My dh and I have been together since we were 16 y.o. So, we really had no "opinion" about anything when we mry. All of our ideas developed together over the years.

I do feel lucky in that my dh really believes that it boils down to what makes our family function better. He could give a crap about what is "PC" way of doing things.

FTR, I think that woman power=choice. Bottom line.




Edited 1/14/2006 9:09 am ET by mom2megandemily
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005

Well what did you expect your husband to say after you dated and fell in love with you when you made it clear to him that you were going to stay home. Yes, love is all about not having your own thoughts and just lying to your partner and telling them what they want to hear. What a nasty comment that was.

I could entirely expect him to say on his own what he wanted. He thought he was a republican when I met him and he came from an evangelical religious home. He now is an independant who tends to lean left and although he has not converted has an appreciation of the catholic religion (which he was always taught was evil). Yep he just pretending to be a lef leaning independent and like a religion he was taught wasn't christian. My husband does have his own mind, thank you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Same here, but I believe that all that probable cause gets you is a warrant. It doesn't justify warrantless surveillance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I'm sorry, but you don't understand the phrase or the procedures. Probable cause for stopping someone is entirely different than the probable cause needed to get a warrant to conduct surveillance. Probable cause never justifies warrantless surveillance, it can only be the basis for a warrant to conduct the surveillance. You still need to get the warrant.

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