"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005

Like I stated, the person who stated it to me was really being condescending.

Maybe it is all in the tone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Sometimes being a parent really has nothing to do with how one feel's about something.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Of course.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

<>


Why?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005

Of course, but I did have a choice. Do I need to put aside my feelings and work just for the sake of working? No, I was happier at home and felt it was the "right" thing to do at the time. Since I have no regrets, I still think it was the right move for me. I also never stated that every parent needs to be happy in order to be a good parent. I just did not see the point in being miserable when I had a choice.

Yes, we are responsible for our own happiness and that is why I quit.




Edited 1/15/2006 9:46 pm ET by mom2megandemily
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

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What exactly don't you understand?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

....and if you didn't have that choice?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
No, I wouls have been a good parent. However, I would have had regrets later on. So why do that if you do not have too? I would say the same thing to a WOH parent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
<> Why, if you supposedly had no choice but to WOH?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
I would have regretted needing to put my babies in daycare.

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