"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
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| Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am |
On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.
Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.
My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.
I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?
If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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So then best in this situation, would be what?
PumpkinAngel
Well, I agree that all of my decisions regarding my parenting might not have been for the best. I quit bf'ng which wasn't the best decision (I had severe medical problems at the time and could not take it emotionally anymore) long term but I thought at the time it was. I just feel that as long as we look at the big picture as much as possible (and yes things do change), that is the best we can do. And in the long run, sah was the best and I still do not see a backlash b/c of it.
I had no real economic reason to work (which is changing since I want to move out of the city and the kids are in school $$) at the time and I hated it. It made sense to sah, save on daycare and enjoy those early years.
Edited 1/17/2006 11:30 am ET by mom2megandemily
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That is what she addressed later. That while she has to work to support her family, she is regrettful that she isn't in the position to be home with her kids like she would like to be. That isn't a fair stretch to understand. Just like one may think their child will be served better in private school but they can't afford it. So that child is in public school. There is a regret that you can't make that happen.
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I should have stated before school aged. I don't think children really know what is best for them in most cases. We as parents have to guide them. So I will disagree here.
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Now aren't you taking this to the extreme? One being unhappy about their work status on a daily basis is a total different thing than being unhappy on occasions. It isn't an all or nothing here. Noone is happy 24/7...but when one is unhappy about the life they are having to live it does affect their entire life. Including the children.
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I understand that. But the bottom line is the same. She did have the choice to go back to work or quit...doesn't change the situation. I would think being forced to go back to work would make one even more miserable than having the options. We are parents...we do what we have to do to make a home for our families. However just because one is doing what they have to do, doesn't mean that their aren't any regrets about it.
No, not when they were infants. I really had a problem with someone else watching them for extended periods of time at that age. My sister was watching my oldest and she loved her. I knew she was being taken care of by someone who had her best interest at heart. I was still feeling the strong need that I am the one that needed to be with her at this age not my sister.
Now that they are older, I do not have a problem with them being in school and me returning to work.
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I understand what you are saying, I think it's you who can't come to terms with what you are saying.
PumpkinAngel
That didn't answer my questions.
PumpkinAngel
Right, for you it did not affect your parenting. Maybe for most people it does not affect their parenting. It affected my parenting at the time. Should it? No. But it did and I do not see where I am wrong in stating how I felt at the time.
Heck, I am sleep deprived right now and maybe I am just not getting it today.....
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Can you link me to that because all I saw is where she switched back to having a choice in the matter?
PumpkinAngel
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