"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

"Children can be just fine in many situations. It really isn't an all or nothing scenerio. Just because kids do just fine in DC or with a nanny etc doesn't make it the best option."


Okay - let's forget the word "incremental."

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I think we already went over this. Two different situations. So in my particular case...my two younger ones are much better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

I never said it was your sole reason or any reason,

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Much better what?

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Do **Just fine** at your job

Then do your *Best*** See which is better? That is how I see it for our family.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Across the board...better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
I have been both a wohm and a sahm and I really cant see how substantially my parenting changed in relationship to my job status. What makes me a good parent is that I love my children unconditionally, I spend time with them, I teach them and I meet their needs - I have done those things regardless of my work status. A good parent is going to be a good parent whether they work or not and a bad parent is going to be bad whether they work or not. Do you really think that if the bottom fell out and you had to go to work tomorrow you would somehow be less of a good parent, even by a fraction? I know for a fact that it would affect my parenting at all. That is not to say that some things might not change, but none of the things that make me a good parent would change. I do exactly the same things with my kids now that I sah that I did with them when I woh.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

<>


If the kids are fine and doing well, why isn't it the best option for the children?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Did you dad make an effort to be an active, engaged, involved and educated parent?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

That didn't answer my questions.


So what exactly is better?

PumpkinAngel

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