"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

To me they are the same.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003

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I agree 100% with your statement.

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

What does "across the board" mean?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Heck no, I dont always do what is best for my kids. My kids dont live in some little bubble where the world revolves around what is best for them - they are part of a family and a community. With 3 kids there is no way I could always do what was best for each of them anyway - because what is best for one may not be best for the others. Is it best for my 2 year old to be dragged out at 7 pm on cold wisconsin nights to go pick his sister up at work, heck no, but it is best for my older daughter to have a job and she needs a ride home. Is it best for my older daughter to have to arrange her work schedule to accomodate attendance at some of her younger sisters soccer games, not for her, but it is what we require. In fact there are even times we do what is best for us(parents) and the kids have to make do - and it hasnt killed any of them yet.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005

Heck no, I dont always do what is best for my kids. My kids dont live in some little bubble where the world revolves around what is best for them - they are part of a family and a community.

And where did I write that I always do what is best? I wrote that I always try to do what is best. I mean why would you not even think about it? Do you always think of yourself first? I think of what is best for the entire family. No, it is not always what is best (I already stated that I quit bf'ng b/c it was best for me) for my children. BUt, I at least try.

And my kids do NOT live in a little bubble and think the world revolves around them. I have very nice, responsible and kind kids. Sorry to burst your bubble...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sorry, but you didnt burst my bubble, I dont recall saying anything about your kids, but you sure took it to heart..... And I believe you did say the "btw you always do what you think is best for your kids", if that is not a direct quote it is pretty darn close..... so make up your mind.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
I would be interested in how your younger two are so much better than you older one. My older daughter had a wohm until she was 9, my middle daughter had a wohm until she was 2 and a sahm since then and my little guy has always had a sahm and I dont see any differences in them that I would atttribute to my work status. They are certainly all 3 different kids, with different personalities and different strengthes and weaknessess but I dont see what those things have to do with my work status.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003

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There are so many parents who could care less about how their decisions affect their children. If the worse thing you're being accused of here, is doing what is best for your kids first, I'd say you are doing a very good job of parenting your girls :)

Julia




Edited 1/17/2006 1:52 pm ET by maceymom

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
I wasnt saying it was bad to always put your children first if that is what you want to do, more questioning how logical it is. If you have more than one child which do you put first - my kids are 15, 7 and 2 what is best for one is not best for the others? Do you think it is important that kids learn that they sometimes have to take a back seat to the needs of others?
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

.....and they just might be better kids for it as well?


PumpkinAngel

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