"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thank you!! I never thought of it that way.


Edited 1/17/2006 2:06 pm ET by mom2megandemily
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003

<< Do you think it is important that kids learn that they sometimes have to take a back seat to the needs of others? >>

Of course. My children like yours are quite spaced in their ages. My DD(10) has to take a back seat to the needs of her younger brother(2) frequently. Vice versa for my DS who wants to go play at the park while DD is in a soccer game. He has to wait until the game is finished so DH and I can cheer her and her team on. We're still working on that one ;)

Now that our DD is older, she understands that mom and dad sometimes need a night out, just for us, as a couple. Of course, she will ask if she could go with us (especially if it's to her favorite restaurant like Benihanas) and we tell her, this dinner date is just for mom and dad to connect with eachother. I think one of the best gifts we could give to our children, is a happy marriage.

I was simply stating to mom2meganandemily, that I think always putting her childrens best interest into her decisions regarding them, is not that bad, when compared to many parents who could care less. KWIM?

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005

<>

ITA with this. We always have date night. We show them our loving our relationship is and hope that when and if they marry someone we could be a good role model.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006

I do know what you mean. Over the years there have been people on this board who have insisted that they never made a decision without it being what was absolutely best for thier child - normally moms of single children, and I was just pointing out that for some of us it is not possible, even if we wanted to, not that I would, but there are some who do. I was just responding to exactly what she had written because I am not here much anymore and dont know many of the posters.

By the way, if you ever figure out that soccer vs park thing please let me know. Last summer durning baseball I hated it when we played on the field that was right beside the park :)

I totally agree about the best gift you can give your children - without parents who are in a happy marriage everything else would pale.
Jennie

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I already answered your question. He did what he could do with the time he had...which was very minimal.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
LMAO...Just fine and Your Best are the same? Ok..end of discussion because we define things totally different.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Yes...pretty much everything you mentioned. However it is a long story...too long to go into again. You can't compare my younger ones to my older one. Two totally different situations.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

If you think you answered my questions with your previous post and this one, than we have two very different ideas of what it means to be

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Yes, my doing my job just fine = doing my best.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Maybe that's why she can't understand the exhaustion one might feel at the end of a day's work plus commute? I am a better mother to very active pre-schoolers because I don't have the added stresses of working and a commute.

Pages