"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005

<>

Well, no, you said it was more than just your point of view. You said you know other sahms who also sah for themselves. I've never known one, nor am I sah for myself. I've only known sahms who sah to care for children, even school-aged children. I've known some super-rich women whose kids are all raised and out of the house. They don't work, but they also don't sah...because they're rich. Even for those lucky women, the default of sah is not woh.

<> Then you would have simply said, Someone is sah. Instead, you've qualified it by saying you and other sahms sah *for themselves*. Your implication is clear.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Again like I stated in the thread...I can't compare my oldest with my 2 younger ones....Two totally different stories.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

I am better for my children than any nanny.
I am better than any DC provider.
I am a better mom because I am doing what I think is best for my kids.

I just asked my DH to tell me if he defined one of his officers as JUST FINE, and another officer as THE BEST. He laughed and said...Are you really asking me this? He answered...my officer defined as THE BEST is just that...the BEST, and his work isn't just fine.




Edited 1/17/2006 6:43 pm ET by ahlmommy
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Good point!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
better mom than whom?
better than moms who work?
better mom than yourself if you'd do what's best for the "family" instead of just your kids?
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Those are YOUR WORDS...Not mine. That is ridiculous that you would even say that. Are you a DC provider? Are you a nanny? Are you not doing what you think is best for YOUR kids? Are you really serious?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003

YOUR words:
So I asked:

I do what's best for my family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004

<>

Exactly. That's why there is no point in always trying to distinguish between what's just fine and what's the very best when it comes to raising your kids.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I am a better mom because I no longer work. I don't think I would be the mom I am now if I had to work. That is why I quit my job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005

What is it that Spock says? The good of the many out weighs the good of the one?

Well, yeah, but he was dying of radiation poisoning, so it's not like he knew what he was talking about ;)

Karen


"We are told that in , "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, The Amazing Race Finale

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

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