"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

I believe there is one mom out there claiming that they are doing the best and knocking me for being human.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Perhaps you are right.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
With those active boys, it never ends, right?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Well, I find it hard to beleive that any human is perfect.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Not perfect, just better than a professional nanny.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

I don't think I have had the complete change of clothes

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Well your post was rather holier than thou with your nanny and her salary of 50 hours per week and her unwaivering. I mean please. I will say that we all waiver in discipline from time to time whether we are tired or not. I don't know one person that doesn't waiver a bit on discipline...I mean we aren't drill sgts. Yes I do yell at my children, I do spank them (but I believe in spankings), and they do go to time outs....what does that have to do with waivering on discipline? However you shouldn't believe for a moment that your nany doesn't waiver because you write her a check.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
No sorry...having an absentee, and angry father IN the home is an unstable home. Not having that crap in our home is a stable home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Don't worry, I am right there with you.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005

IMO it is comparing apples to oranges. I feel safe to say that I do not think a WOH mother expects the nanny or daycare provider to replace them. The discipline is going to be different. A nanny is not going to love them the way a mother does and therefore a mother is going to waiver on occasion. They are going to feel "bad" or "guilty".

The same as with a teacher. My oldest dd listens to her teacher very well. I wish she would listen to me that well..lol! But, the teacher is not her mother and I do not expect her to be. My youngest loves to clean up in pre-school. It drives me nuts that I have to push her to clean here but she does so at school.

I guess I am not sure why the comparison is being made between a nanny and a mother.

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