"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

<<>>

I am beginning to wonder the same thing about you. What I am trying to get across to you is that in some situations having a SAHP does impact a child's life. Sometime's it doesn't. For you it didn't make a difference whatsoever. For others it might. Can I ask why you are now SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Interesting isn't it?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
I can say - and you got that right. Two of mine are in school most of the day but just keeping up with one little one (what is it with boys, they never slow down)is way more tiring than the job i had when i woh. and i drive a heck of alot more than 7 miles a day just chauffering the other two around.
Jennie
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
No one said your parenting is affected with your work status. Not one person. However it can affect your children's lives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

So then sometimes you are "just fine" as a mother and not "best"?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

<>


It's been claimed that a mother is better than a nanny when it comes to care.


PumpkinAngel

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Doing Just Fine= GOOD
The Best= BEST

I am sorry...we will agree to disagree here...I really can't see that you are unable to see that just fine is different than the best.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
That she doesn't know one SAH that does it for herself. Neither do I.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Well when you define BEST as just fine...It is hard to define much for ya.


Edited 1/18/2006 1:47 pm ET by ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
im with you i have no desire to be perfect, as if i could. just fine is working pretty good so far. while i dont like it my guess is that it is good for my kids to see that mom cna make mistakes and have to eat crow sometimes, or that she can get fed up and lose it just like everyone else.
Jennie

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