"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I don't have a teenager home all day. She goes to school everyday. So does my son...my youngest goes to preschool 3 days per week. So no...My job was much more tiring than what I do now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

So you are quibbling over the difference between good and best?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

But what is the cost of Just Fine vs the cost of the Best. Sometimes the cost of the Best just isn't worth it.

And what if what is BEST for the kids is only Just Fine for the family as a whole? Or if what is BEST for the family as a whole means the kids get only what is Just Fine?




Edited 1/18/2006 1:54 pm ET by okiegirl71
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
i really am getting the impression she wants to or is militant about sah but doesnt want to get bashed and when certain things slip in she cant explain them without taking that militant stances so she backtracks or avoids - to me it is very frustrating trying to find out what she thinks and why. as if she is trying to anticipate what responses she might get instead of just writing what she truly believes.
Jennie
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Me too. The problem here is that it is that we are different human beings. That the OP stated that she does waiver because she is tired from working. I would probably be tired if I had to work 50 hours per week. That is why I don't. What I find humorous is that her nanny doesn't waiver because she is paid not to....but a SAH does because she isn't paid. She didn't state that....but I believe the implications were there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Which has what to do with anything?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

I didn't think you could do it.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
That is you...not me. You can find 2 little boys stressful...maybe I wouldn't. See the difference?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
I have gotten two calls from school, from my 15 year old this year to bring clothes/shoes. Once her pants had too many holes in them and second she left home one morning in the snow knowing they were going to be marching that day and wore clogs and her shoes were soaked so could i please bring her more shoes. I would have loved to have had a nanny to make both those runs for me :) My guess is she will be calling me from college to bring her clothes
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Exactly.

PumpkinAngel

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