"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

I think you're inferring things that she didn't imply.

The nanny is only "working" at caring for the kids 50 hours a week. A SAHM is "working" at caring for the kids over 112 hours a week. That's why (I think) PNJ believes a nanny is less likely to waver than a SAHM. Also becasue if she wavers a time too many, she'll get fired. A SAHM can't be fired.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Being Just fine and being the best are what is best for my children. I have no doubts that what we are doing for our family is the best we can do. Do you think that is what you are doing? I would certainly hope so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

This is where living in the frozen arctic comes in handy. For 5-6 months out of the year, they are covered head to toe in winter gear. My girls can wear whatever they want, nice dresses etc & I don't have to worry about mud dirt etc. For one, the ground is all covered in snow & ice & two the kids are all covered in snow suits. LOL

I did get a weird call from the nurse last week though. Vanessa went to the nurse & wanted to come home because she had a canker sore. I told her she had to tough it out, the nurse said she was very "insistent" about it. Later I was thinking, this kid is always insistent, it's her nature. She is pretty insistent about everything she wants w/me.

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
I so understand that cleaning up thing. My 7 year old is constantly getting praise for cleaning up at school, heck she even volunteers to do it, and for me to get her to clean up her room you would think i had asked her to pull out all her hair.
Jennie
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
No sorry you are WRONG. I didn't claim a mother is better than a nanny. I said...I am better with my children than a nanny would be.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Your spinning is making me very dizzy. Enough already...this isn't a debate...Its a cat and mouse game for you. Have fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
and taking that one step further what if what is best for one child is jsut fine for the others? like the op i have kids who are widely spaced in age and i know that what is best for one is sometimes just going to have to be fine for that others but that is just life.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
It could be the BOYS not the abilities of mother. Maybe you don't find your two boys stressful but you would find PKA's boys stressful. Maybe she finds her boys stressful but wouldn't find your boys stressful.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Why would I be militant? I am going back to work next year when my youngest goes to school. My two younger children will go to afterschool care everyday. So if I am so militant...I wouldn't be doing that. Sorry..not militant here. I believe many mom's should work because they have to. I believe that some mom's should work because they want to. I think sometimes both are the case. Just like I believe in our situation we are doing what is best for our children and our family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

<<You can find 2 little boys stressful...maybe I wouldn't. See the difference? >>


Actually no I don't see the difference.

PumpkinAngel

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