"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Well then I guess it is just Best that we just stop this here....I think that will be just fine with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

Do we have twins? The afterschool teacher at daycare is always telling me that Sav is her best helper. She's always being praised for how much she helps clean up and straighten and organize.

But her room looks like a tornado hit it.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

<<>>

I must have misunderstood this statement you made here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Excuse me?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
you just totally changed what i said. what i said was my work status did not change my parenting not that my parenting didnt affect my work status. there is nothing i do with my kids while being a sahm that i did not do with them when i was a wohm - times shifted on some things, but with three kids times shift around here all the time. can you please explain how work status affects kids lives in ways that are substantial
Jennie
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How in the world you took that as offensive is beyond me. You are so defensive. I was simply stating that I would certainly hope what you do is best for your family. How is that offensive. Good grief.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

I have one of those children as well, lol.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Yeah, lol. Is it your younger ds?

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

I think it varies in all sorts of situations. In our case...I worked odd hours and so does my DH. That would have I believe had a negative impact on our family and our children. I think in some cases a parent that hates their job, or hates working can negatviely impact their family and children. Just as another poster on this board stated that she was MISERABLE being at home. She missed working, she cried all day, and was physically ill everyday. She negatviely impacted her family and her marriage. She went back to work and her life stabilized. It goes both ways.

Yes I did compare my 3 children. Yet I also said it wouldn't be a fair comparison given the different circumstances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

That's right, you are the mother in my sentence.

PumpkinAngel

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