"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006

why am i a sahm - simple, because i want to be and it works for our family at this time. i enjoy having time for myself. but i dont believe my kids are better or worse off because of it.

all i am wondering from you is how does having a sahm impact your kids lives, what do they get from you that they wouldnt get if you woh. the big difference i can see looking at my son is that he would play down the street at the neighbors everyday instead of playing at home, but i dont see how that would adversely affect him.

Jennie

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

<<>>

Well this sentence here is vague in regards to the situation. I know a lot of women that need a nanny because they aren't good parents. I still stand by my statement. When it comes to my children...I am better than a nanny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

What on earth are you talking about?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Even with children closer in age, I find the same thing.


PumpkinAngel

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
As I have stated...My Dh and I work odd hours. My children wouldn't be able to spend what I feel is a good amount of time with their parents at the same time. It would also I believe grow resentment between my DH and I.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

My boys are very high energy and pretty outside the box kids and those not used to both of those in two children, could very well find my children stressful.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
so your husbands hours are going to change next year when you go back to work?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Getting very good at diversions.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
No...they won't change...However I am going into another line of work. His hours are still odd, but consistant. He is now a supervisor and back on rotating shifts. Rotating shifts I can handle...TONS of OT is too hard. In 2 years he will be in a better situations. He will be promoted again, and will work even more normal hours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

You probably thought it was best to imply what it meant instead of asking what it meant, which would have been just fine with me if you had.


PumpkinAngel

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