"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003

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I agree. I also want to add, when I WOH for ten years with my DD, several times she was sick a year (bronchitis, flu). My DH would be off that day, so of course he was home with her. Several women at my last job, would say "Your daughters sick, how come you're not home with her, instead of your husband?". Unbelievable! My husband has been an EMT for many years, as compared to me, with no medical training. Where is the logic in their thinking that since I'm mom, that DD would be in better medical care with me?

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

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How can you promise something about the actions of a woman you've never even met?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006

***Several women at my last job, would say "Your daughters sick, how come you're not home with her, instead of your husband?".***

That would have pushed me over the edge too. What are they thinking? While my DH is definately not the SAHD type by any means. If he were off one day and I had somewhere to be, he would most definately care for our sick child and be great at it. I surely wouldn't miss an appointment because I am mommy. Ickk!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Very easy...She is a human being.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005

I agree with this to a degree. I think overall a parent is better able to care for a child. Or I should reverse that and state that no one can replace a mother. But, I doubt anyone is trying.

There are certain things I think someone else is better qualified for my children. Teachers. I am not a teacher. I have no illusions that my children need to be in school. I could not homeschool. Gymanastics. i could not teach gymnastics to my kids. Soccer and basketball is the same.

So, I could not say that I am always the *best* person for every thing that my kids do. But, as babies/toddlers, I was the best person to care for their needs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
So now the nanny is not only caring for the children, but she's also teaching them piano, gymnastics, GS, and correcting a speech delay? Awesome.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
but an even greater number of people have trusted their spouses, family members and friends and that didnt pan out so well either. based on what you are saying i would have to keep my kids with me 24/7 to know what was going on with them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
I totally agree with you. I feel I am best to care for their needs. However I am no doctor, nor a teacher, nor a gymnastics instructor. I can take good care of them and show them how to build things. Other than that, I am useless. LOL!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

So you believe in trust, just not with a nanny?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Again, this really isn't about trust. I have stated that in this thread. It is about not putting your head in the sand and saying that a nanny doesn't waiver. If she is human, she waivers.

 

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