"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
OK, that is your situation. I didn't think my post was an agree or disagree. You have no idea what or how well qualified I am with my children. Just because you don't think you are the best qualified for your children doesn't make me the best qualified for mine. I can tell you that I am not the best qualified for your line of work, and I can tell you, that you aren't the best qualified for mine.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

<>

Well, if you want to be technical, NO, not all children have parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006

I am the best to care for MY children.

I am not the best teacher, dentist, doctor, gymnastics instructor, etc. Your kids aren't going to always get the best from one person. But don't you want the best doctors when they are in need of medical care?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
No, I don't believe that for a minute.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

....and I can agree with you to a certain degree until your last statement of *best* and of course that overall a parent is better.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
so take trust out of it, is your boss able to rely on you to follow the rules when he is not around. and there are certainly people who cant be relied on unless someone is right over them but there are others who can be.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Yes they do. I have yet to see a baby pop out of the sky. Just because their parents are no longer around, doesn't make them not their parents.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

What makes you best?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Ah. Well, luckily for my employer, and for PNJ, what you believe has diddly squat to do with what actually IS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005

After 6+ years of sah and being in weekly (at least) contact with nannies, no. I can count on one hand the number of nannies I would leave my kids with if I had to work full-time. Otherwise, I'd use a dc center for the extra sets of eyes.

Regardless, the nanny/parent relationship is the only one I can think of here on the spot where the employer gives complete trust to such an important job AND leaves the employee alone for day, everyday, to perform her job.

I'm not alone in my thinking. Most employers don't trust their employees to work outside of the office. Some do, but most do not. Most employees work in an office the majority of their time. Why are parents so trusting when the consequences can be so severe?

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