"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
I don't have a boss. It isn't about relying on them. Nothing wrong with a nanny that waivers on discipline occasionally. That isn't what I am going for here. I think sometimes discipline should be waivered. You can't be a drill sgt all the time.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Ok a few points. So we're all human. What makes a SAHM a better, more consistent disciplinarian than a nanny?


That started out as just an example of why I don't believe I'm settling for a "just fine" which is in any material way worse than the "best" ahlmommy claims she can give her 3 children by WAH.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

So every human waivers on all things regarding trust?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

Yeah it does. It takes more than sperm and an egg to make a parent.

and in the context of your post, when talking about who a child spends more time with, there are many children who spend much more time in the care of non-parents ... simply because they don't have parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006

What makes me best, is I am the best to care for my children the way I think is best.

Do I think the best is required at all times? No. Whenever it is possible I will try to make that happen. If my child is critically ill, I want her in the best hospital if at all possible. If my child is playing baseball, the best coach would be great, but not required.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
You are correct. Still doesn't make it untrue.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Why are you the best qualified to care for your children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

No, trust is not a separate issue.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Actually, that is what you said. Or are you admitting you posted something completely irrelevant in response to mine?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

I don't think that the number of employees still required to work *in the office* has as much to do with trust as you think. It has to do with availablity of resources, interactions with co-workers, interactions with customers/clients, interactions with colleagues, liability insurance, pay scale/benefit equity, and a whole host of other things.

As an example, I can't do my job from home on a permanant basis because I have the need for a high-speed copier. I have the need to be physically available to people. Lots of reasons ... none of them are trust.

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