"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

You too?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

I'll give you an example.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006

***Ok a few points. So we're all human. What makes a SAHM a better, more consistent disciplinarian than a nanny?***

Never said they were better, or more consistent. If I did, please show me where.

****That started out as just an example of why I don't believe I'm settling for a "just fine" which is in any material way worse than the "best" ahlmommy claims she can give her 3 children by WAH.****

I would agree with you there. Do you have a nanny? I would like to clarify, that I don't think nanny's are bad because I think they waiver just like everyone else does. I think most people hire nanny's and most are great. I rank them right up there with teachers. God bless them!

***Why couldn't the care she provides to all 4 children be the "best" care or "just fine"?**

I don't know, how anyone can care for 3 or 4 kids. I would lose my mind. My 2 are just enough.

***Can you give me one concrete example, across the board, in which a SAHP is better than a paid caregiver?***

I can't. I never said that either. When I say that I feel I am the best caregiver for my children, that is as far as it goes. There are many situations when a caregiver is a better than a parent. Many parents don't want to SAH all day. In that case alone a nanny would be better IMHO.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
You're not in "good" company, or even "just fine" company ... you're in the "best" company.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
I think every human waivers.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

"What makes me best, is I am the best to care for my children the way I think is best."


That's not a reason.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Biological parent is a term that is used on all people that have a biological child.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005

Lots of activities that occur before 5 pm. Don't you know of any? Shouldn't you have known about these preschooler activities? Or did your kids when preschoolers spend everyday at the same exact place, day after day, year after year until full-time school?

Certainly, you did the same things with your kids when preschoolers on the weekends and holidays that I'm discussing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
No because I am the best to care for them the way I want them cared for.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

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Nope, but I didn't say that either.

PumpkinAngel

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