"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
The fact that all children HAD (notice I said HAD, not HAVE) biological parents still has nothing to do with your point about the amount of time spent with nannies vs. parents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

"***Can you give me one concrete example, across the board, in which a SAHP is better than a paid caregiver?***


I can't. I never said that either. When I say that I feel I am the best caregiver for my children, that is as far as it goes."


This is internally contradictory.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005

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But how? Does PNJ have a nannycam? PNJ thinks her nanny disciplines consistently and better than she and her DH? But why does PNJ complain about discipline issues with her children? Does the nanny "discipline" to make the nanny's day go more smoothly? Or does the discipline "stick?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Do you really think that a nanny doesn't have an off day like a parent does? I mean do you think they follow guidelines to the letter? I just don't believe that for a minute. That nanny will have a situation that she will handle in a way she feels is just. Isn't that what a parent wants their nanny to do in some cases? I really don't think it is that big of a deal. I just think that many times issues arise that will cause a nanny to waiver. Doesn't make her a bad nanny, just human.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
You keep repeating that without explaining it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
My thoughts exactly! The boss will return. The nanny is left on her own for the full day, everyday, every week, etc. A very different level of accountability. Actually there's no level of review until the child is able to express himself very well verbally ~ at that point the child is approaching full-day school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sure she handles discipline well. That I have no doubt about. But do you honestly think she has never waivered on her discipline? Hasn't everyone? I really don't think comparing ethics to discipline is a fair comparison either.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
But I disagree with you there. I don't try to say that I am the best to handle certain situations. I know that I am best to distinguish when a problem arises with my children, and get them the help they might need in a particular situation.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

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So it's okay to waver in one's job because we are humans?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

Yes, there are parts of my job that I have never wavered on either.

PumpkinAngel

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