"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
I know on a daily basis how I may want a situation handled with my children. I think every situation is different and I want it handled a certain way. That is how I want things in our home to be. Didn't you hire the nanny you felt best fit your criteria?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005

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If the spouse trusts his wife in absolutely every other area of their relationship (i.e., they have a basically good, healthy, trusting marriage), then why should he suspect that as soon as he closes the door behind him to go to work that the sahm suddenly behaves in a way he wouldn't expect?

Also, a spouse gets to live with and know his wife. The same isn't true with a nanny. She's interviewed, hired, a short while later, the parents' surprise visits generally are discontinued.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

She's not best qualified to be a sahm or a sahm in your family?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Just as it's completely facile of ahlmommy to claim that one of the reasons her being a WAHM is better than othercare for her children is because she personally never wavers on discipline.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

"I know that I am best to distinguish when a problem arises with my children, and get them the help they might need in a particular situation."


Why are you the best person? Because you know your children better than anyone, you're smarter than anyone you know at thinking up and exploring possible solutions, because ____________?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006

***I am paid to do a job, I can't just do it however I want.***

I really have a hard time believing that you don't waiver at some aspect of your job. We all do. Look here it is during the day and we are all on a message board. Isn't that waivering?

***Have you looked at the stats?***

No, have you? Not being snippy, because if you have, please post the link. I think it would be an interesting read.

***To make claims about not only someone one doesn't even know or to change it to ever waver and include all of the human population is really naive. JMHO***

We aren't perfect. Waivering isn't a bad thing. Just human nature.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

So why can't you make the daily decisions on how you want things handled, and have a nanny carry them out?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

I happen to think that teachers, dentists, doctors, etc all care for my children because at times I am not the best to care for MY children.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
You are misunderstanding the point. No one has claimed that there's a human being who doesn't waver in some respect, just that there can be aspects of a job in which said person doesn't ever waver.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

So for example and this is just an example.

PumpkinAngel

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