"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sorry, I should have clarified. When I said my job, I meant what I used to do for a living. I think you said you were an accountant. You aren't qualified for my job, and I am not qualified for yours. Hey, need a new client? LOL I am a mess with taxes.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

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No. My job is still being done. The time I'm spending here today isn't taking anything away from the performance of my job. I have a job in which I have periods of extreme slowness (where I'm usually in "hurry up and wait" mode) and periods of extreme business. Today is one of the slow times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Well then that is naive too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

I think the courts who have terminated the rights of those parents would disagree with you.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
I am the best person because I know my children. I know when they are off and not acting normal. I know just how far I can go with my children, to know when to get outside help.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
I can make daily decisions. But how can I ask a nanny to deal with a situation that I want handled if I am not there? Again, I must say again, I don't expect everyone to be the way I am. I am not saying because you have a nanny that you don't know how your children are being raised. I think everyone's situation is unique. We all do what we have to do to make sure our children are care for the best way we know how.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

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What have these nannies done that scares you so much?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

"But how can I ask a nanny to deal with a situation that I want handled if I am not there?"


You discuss likely scenarios in advance, or you have the nanny call you if she's not sure how you want it handled.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
I stated that I am the best one to care for my children. That means just that. When they are sick I am the one that gets them to the help they need. On a daily basis, as far as caring for my children pushing aside illness, etc. I feel that I am the best to care for them. Just like I said, I am not dentist, no doctor, no teacher. Those I am not the best in. In everyday life I believe that I am the best at enforcing rules, and caring for my children.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Maybe in some jobs. We are talking about a nanny with children. Don't you waiver in discipline? Doesn't everyone at some point?

 

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