"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

I would think the family courts are full of people who think they are the best to care for their children.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
i think you just got at least my point - that kids of wohm's do the exact same things that kids with sahm's do they just do them at different times. although i will say my kids as preschoolers were not into many structured activities, not even when i became a sahm. now we go to the library at 4 oclock when i woh we went to the library at 6 oclock or on saturday. instead of going to the pool in the afternoon we went after dinner. its not that kids with wohm's arent doing these things they are just doing them at different times. adn the big things, like the zoo or museums we always do on weekends anyway so the whole family can go.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Isn't one best qualified to know when they aren't the best in all situations? I would say that the person best qualified to handle a situation is one that knows when to get outside help. Not one that thinks they are the best in every aspect of life.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sure I have things I don't waiver in. Yet, I don't think disciplining a child is one of them. I have yet to meet someone that doesn't.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
So that makes it impossible? Right. When there are MILLIONS of people you haven't met yet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
No, maybe not impossible. Yet, it isn't impossible that aliens are hovering over head either. Humans are human, we make mistakes. To say she has never waivered in discipline is just not high on probability. Again JMHO.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006

and the boss of the nanny will return unless the parent is giving the child to the nanny to adopt. when i had a nanny i would show up unexpectedly or pop home for lunch and never once did i encounter a problem.

sure there is a level of review. can you not tell if your child has had a good or bad day without them verbally telling you? both of my girls could articulate what they did during the day well before they started school. even my 2 year old can to some extent tell you about his day, he does every evening with his dad. granted you have to ask him questions and he will respond, but he certainly knows if he played outside or if he had chicken for lunch adn can answer if asked.
Jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

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I used to know of quite a lot, just as there are lots of activities that occur after 5pm, don't you know any?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

So they are with you 24/7365 because children need care for all of that time, correct?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
But that's your personality and your preferences, which do not equate to being "the best care" for your children. The best under the circumstances of having you for a mother, with your preferences, your career, your finances, etc.?

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