"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
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| Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am |
On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.
Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.
My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.
I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?
If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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Edited 1/10/2006 7:47 pm ET by mom3texas
I dont think that has anything to do with what we were discussing though. A husband and wife *both* deeply wrapped up in defining their self worth by their income is completely different from a couple who makes a joint decision on whether or not to have a sahp.
PnJ had made it clear that her dh would look down on her and treat her differently if she was a sah. She would feel differently about herself if she was a sah as well-because her self worth is very tied up in external reward.
I wouldnt marry a man who would have treated me differently based on my work status.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Karen
"We are told that in , "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo
Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, The Amazing Race Finale
Karen
"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't
Karen
"We are told that in , "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo
Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, The Amazing Race Finale
Karen
"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't
When I hear "I SAH to raise my children", my mind automatically reads "I SAH *in order to* raise my children" or "I SAH so that I can raise my children." I think many others hear the same thing.
And, since "in order to" means:
-- Idiom: in order that; So that. --
-- Idiom: in order to do something; ***So as to be able to do it.*** Thesaurus: to, with a view to, with the intention of, with the purpose of, intending to. --
It is inferred, by many, that SAH is the only way to raise children. Therefore, if you don't SAH you aren't raising your children.
*That* is where the hot button, defensiveness, *hostility*, misuderstanding, and offenses come from.
Edited 1/10/2006 8:05 pm ET by ahlmommy
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