"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

<<>>

Then SAHMs should have no problem with posts that say, "I WOHM because I'd be bored at home. I like my job and I don't care for having a someone else support me. Feels too much like being a kept woman."

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-pssahwoh&msg=16497.258




Edited 1/10/2006 8:28 pm ET by ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
yes, of course.......that one did come from karen, didn't it..sort of reminds me of the intent behind such remark. as if all this is about is a tsk for a tsk, grumble for a grumble.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005

Oh well. when someone comes to a board and tries to peddle the most ridiculously stupid and illogical "definitions" as standard, even as they fly in the face of every resource on the subject, that person shouldn't be all that surprised if someone comments on the irony of them complaining about someone else's definition of a word.

I yield to you as the expert on the stench of bat guano.

Karen


"We are told that in , "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, The Amazing Race Finale

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Operative term being "with posts that say". Care to show where *I* said that?

Karen


"We are told that in , "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, The Amazing Race Finale

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

<>

Why don't you just say SAH? Do you feel you must justify it to others (that might judge you)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
That's what I'd think too.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In her defense she was using it as an example.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
What about "I WOH to support my family."?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005

<>

That's too funny - from both you and Felicia. If I ever see you or Felicia answer questions directly and honestly and address weaknesses of your arguments (you may not know this but all arguments have weaknesses!) half as well and as honestly as mom2megandemily, I'll let you know. For now though, I'm glad not to be part of this new elite lawyer-club. How simply superior of you and Felicia! I love it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005

Thank you. For the record, I couldn't care less either way. I would choose dependent upon many factors. If I SAH or if I WOH and any dh SAH, I may or may not be cool with it. I, personally, wouldn't necessarily felt "kept", but hopefully I also wouldn't marry a guy who treated me as if I were.

Some women do and when they voice it, if they aren't careful in how they choose their words, they come off sounding like there's an inference between their status and that of SAHMs. Just the same as a clumsy choice of words by a SAHM can sound that way to WOHMs. hence, 'hot button". Doesn't make either side defensive to discuss/dislike it, particularly in terms of this board's purpose.

Karen


"We are told that in , "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, The Amazing Race Finale

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

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