"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005

Oh, God, I'm sorry, I seriously thought you were snarking. No, I'm not a lawyer. heck, I never even graduated college. I'm a typesetter (member of Columbia Typographical Union No 101-12, even :) I work for the federal government on night shift.

Guess I've got a bit of a hair trigger tonight. I'm sorry. Really.

Karen


"We are told that in , "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, The Amazing Race Finale

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003

I honestly don't think when most women say *I SAH to raise my children*, that is meant to be derogatory to WOHM's. I think it is simply said, to define what THEY believe they are doing with their life. I think most SAHM's (unless militant) believe that the parent/guardian is the one raising the child, regardless of moms *work* status.

My problem with that comment is when it is said with *malice.* If the person saying it, says it strictly to be mean-spirited to WOHM's. It really bothered me, this one time, when I read a post from a SAHM who said, "I have to go get the baby up from his/her nap, and go to the park, enjoy your day at work". She is known as a very militant SAHM, so even though I'm a SAHM, I found that comment to be in very poor taste. It's funny how the same comment to me, can be taken two entirely different ways depending on the person saying it (history), or just the way it is said. KWIM?

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
You're confusing the Karens. Jzygyle/karen/cyducksmom is NOT a lawyer. Goddeslonestarmom/karen/faduckeggs IS a lawyer.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Gotta love those feds...My DH has his last week with them this week. We are gonna miss that OT pay! He travels quite a bit out of town to the US Attorney's Office and they always put him in a nice hotel room to himself. He doesn't get that being a city employee. UGHH!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

If you are employed, you aren't a SAHM. You are employed.

And I'd bet the IRS would see it as a business.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
What kind of wah job do you have?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
He's a fed employee and gets OT pay? Is he hourly and not salaried?
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Many years ago I had a BUSINESS in my home. Now I don't. I care for a child. That isn't a business. I have no overhead nor do I have a separate dwelling to earn my money. According to the IRS...I am employed not a business owner.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
<> I know what you mean. I've had it said to me in malice IRL (which, by the way has always taken me off guard). That's why it unnerves me when I see it here on this board. Especially when you can't see/feel/hear how it is being said (with emphasis, without emphasis, with facial expressions). Even though some people here who aren't on this side of the fence would feel I'm "hypersensitive," (rolling my eyes) it has a lot to do with my personal experience.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
No he is a city employee paid by the city. He is a police officer in the city. He has been on assignment with the feds at the ATF for almost 2 years. So when he travels or works late he is paid OT by the feds. It is quite nice....however they max out. I believe it is in the ballpark of $20K a year. His specific line of work is Operation Safe Neighborhood...It is a law Bush passed that allows the federal govt to take over cases of a felon in possession of a gun. It used to be that felons in possession of a gun was a state matter...now when the feds take the case, the felon is prosecuted federally. Federal time is day for day...state is not.


Edited 1/10/2006 9:41 pm ET by ahlmommy

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