"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I do, Hollie. When you get to be a certain age you become more affected by the death of close friends, parents' friends, friends' parents. I read the local obits every day. Many times I've informed my folks of people who have passed that they had been friendly with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

<>

Therefore you are not a SAHM.

<< have no overhead nor do I have a separate dwelling to earn my money.>>

Many businesses dont' have a separate dwelling. Many people have an at-home business.

<< According to the IRS...I am employed not a business owner.>>

I can see how that's possible.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Nope, I'm not confused. Don't you care for someone else's child? For pay?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
If I were paying you to care for my kid, I'd hope you saw it as a business enough to take it seriously. Because I'd be claiming those payments for my child care tax credit. And I'd hope you'd report the income, too. And abide by the contract same as me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
See I don't read it that way at all. (FTR I am a WAH mom) Sure a SAHM stays home to raise her kids; but I don't think in any way, is she trying to say that a WOH is not raising their own kids. I really don't think a SAH is trying purposely to insult someone who has a different method of living their life. I think they are simply stating that is how they choose to raise their kids. Period.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

aha ... gotcha

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Well even when I explained it to you CLEARLY how I said it...You said it was still derogatory. Even though I clearly stated it wasn't about you...that it was about how I feel about myself. So which is it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
I scan the obits to see if it's anyone I know. If it isn't, I don't read them.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Yup, you're employed. You WAH. Did I hit a hot button with you?
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

<<>>

That isn't what she asked me...She asked me how my business was.

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