"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Hey, you're welcome. Glad to be of service. Guess we won't be seeing anymore posts where you ask things like "Was she talking to you?" now that you get it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005

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I really have no motive for why I say that. it is just something I have said before. Justify myself? No. I know what I am doing is the bes tthing for my kids. So, I really do not care about someone else's judgement that I sah.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
I saw that in another debate and laughed then too! You see, M3T, all sahms are apparently jealous of PNJ. I guess we'd all rather be working? My dream may be realized and I will never have to go back to lawyering again. Amen to that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Once again, thank you. I did work for lawyers and was tempted. But, I really do not like making personal attacks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Actually, the Meow thing was funny. But, thank you. You'd have to understand PNJ though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
If the Meow thing was truthful, then you're going to have to fill me in on this "relationship" we supposably have. I thought it was funny.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I do SAH and raise my kid. I do leave my home to go to work and drop my child off for someone else to care for her during the day so that I can care for someone's elses child. So while I do care for someone elses child doesn't mean I am not home raising my own.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
You should have said that then. Nice backpeddle.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I agree...It kills them that I call myself a SAHM. That is what I am. I care for another child...so what? I would most definately call myself a WAHM if I was employed by a business and my DD couldn't participate. Having my friends son doesn't change what I do with her during the day. Our schedule would be the exact same if he weren't here. Now...when she starts school..I will be a WOHM. I get what they are saying..I understand it. However only I can know what my life is and what I do. I would call myself a WAHM if I cared for several children like some mothers with Home DC. That just isn't the case.

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