"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In M3T defense...sometimes one chimes in on a particular debate and misses 1/2 the thread and therefore making their statements wrong, or a bit off. It has happened to everyone here. So while I understand what you are saying...she has a good point.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Oh...That is a trip. We are really going to miss those guys over there. They did their BEST to recruit him...however moving to Georgia for 6 months and having to move out of state wasn't appealing to him. However the up side was the money. In the first year with the feds he would have been making $12K more than he makes now...in 5 years he would be at $115K a year, plus federal benefits are very nice. He is almost 1/2 way to retirement here and my family all live here...so we opted out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

The definition on this board, and in many other circles, of a SAHM is a mom who does not work for pay. Therfore, you are not a SAHM. You are a WAHM.

Why can't you admit it? Why can't you abide by that definition? That's been set for years? That is corrorborated by outside sources? Is there something wrong with being a WAHM? I certainly don't think so, as I was one for some time. Several posters here are WAHMs.

It isn't that we don't *want* you to be a SAHM ... you. just. aren't. You. don't. fit. the. definition. It has nothing to do with what I want ... or what you want. It has to do with definitions.

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I have yet to see the IRS take a stance on Stay at home Mother. Is there an article or tax law that states SAHM anywhere in the IRS?
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
It isn't worth it. You should hear some of the stuff my DH hears lawyers say. He can't stand them. Police like my DH are defensive attorney's worst nightmare. Just last week he had a defendent going into federal court that looked right at him and said...Just so you know I am going to punch my attorney in the face, then I am going beat the US Attorney and then if the judge says a word I am going to beat his A$$ too. Right back to jail he went. Now we have to have US Marshal's go in and guard him. Even criminals don't like their own attorney's. Ironic eh?
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is she a cat?
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
SO because it is the definition of this board that is what I am? Got it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
I ran from the legal field as fast as I could. I just could not take the dishonesty another day. I never felt good about any of the work that we did. Nursing has always made me feel good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
What does the I.R.S. call you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005

ON this board? Yep.

Call yourself whatever you like in public. But on this board, you should abide by the rules/definitions of this board, if you want to participate in discussions on an even keel with everyone else. It really is hard for people to effectively communicate, debate and discuss when one or two lone participants are operating under totally different definitions.

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