"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
2078
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am

On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.

Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.

My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.

I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?

If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
No, but the I.R.S. has pretty clear tests to see whether you are earning an income or not. And if you are earning an income, by just about any objective criterion you want to employ, you are, well, employed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
secure your helmet now ahlmommy.....you're surrounded by the label police. ;P
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003

<> Well, when you give me nothing to work with....

<> Oh, it really doesn't bother me when you say it. ;-)

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
<> Maybe you should read more carefully. And thank you for the compliment, although I don't see it as a backpeddle. It's a clarification.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Absolutely agree and I have 2.5 year old twins. I SAH for 7 months...then worked very part time from home mainly till they were 13.5 months old. We've been almost religious about schedule and with small exceptions...they are on ours...not vise versa.

Same doesnt apply when you WOHM. Yesterday...I left the house at 7 a.m. got home at 9 p.m. I had almost no time to pee let alone do anything else on my 'own' time before 9 p.m.
I'm traveling Thur/ Friday and then Monday/Tuesday of next week. Not on my 'own time' but on clients.

SAH should allow a reasonably organized intelligent person to set their own schedule around things like school, sure, but your own none the less.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
What have you been doing to me the whole time? Snapping at me, beginning with your first post. The way I read the questin about where to get a degree in hotel management came off as almost sarcastic, after what the poster said before her question, I assumed she was being rude, maybe I assumed wrong, as you are. Who are you to tell me I'm snapping at other people like a "rabid dog"? Go back and read YOUR posts, who's snapping?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

"My dream may be realized and I will never have to go back to lawyering again."


You'd rather be a Lady Who Lunches when your kids are grown, eh?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
So my mom has told me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
It kills you that you can't really call yourself a SAHM.

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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Yep I'm with you on that. Flexibility, for me, is key in relationships of all kinds. particularly though with DH. We both do what we need to do depending on where things are with us individually and as a family. Rigidity sucks:)

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