"We don 't believe in that [WOHM]"
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| Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:31am |
On Friday, as I was driving hom from work, I stumbled across an interview with the wife of the one surviving miner from the collapse in WVa. In the course of the interview, someone asked her if she worked.
Her response was that they don't believe in that. She explained that her husband was very proud of the fact that he was the sole supporter of the family, and that he didn't need her help in supporting them. She explained that they just don't believe in women working after they have kids and husbands, and that they believe her place is at home with the kids.
My heart really goes out to her, and this post isn't about her, but about the sentiment that women shouldn't work because their place is at home. And being a real man, even if it means working in dangerous conditions, long hours, holding two jobs and being a step away from poverty at every turn, means that your wife doesn't work.
I suppose this is the first time that I've heard someone, not a movie character or a character in a book, express this sentiment. I don't understand why anyone would be proud to limit their spouse's potential. Or why be proud that you live right on the poverty line?
If they didn't see the dangers of their POV before, surely that entire community, and even the whole country, has now seen the risk that we talk about on here all the time, the risk that suddenly the SAHM will need to find a way to financially support the family. I wonder if anyone will re-think what they believe in.

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From what you've said there would be no way I would either! I believe that for us it equates out in the end. We don't split hairs...we don't keep score. Sometimes I do "more" for us in some areas, often he does. In the end neither of us tend to feel hard done by and both realize we are working for the good of the family and eachother. Our prime goal is to make the other happy most the time....
MM
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"SAHM is a mom who does not work for pay."
What about a Mom who has a volunteer postion for which *she* is not paid but for which others (perhaps in the same organization) are paid. A position that requires standard hours, specific duties and responsibilities, deadlines, reviews..... I know several women who hold very important positions in nonprofits - but are not paid. I call them NOTA.
Janet
What?? WHAT??? I'm missing out on the "cake" life (whatever the hell that is) and I have the toughest job in the world? Doesnt sounds like I've "got it all" to me....
"there is very much a one sided view here about the whole sah/woh thing. 1) sahms have a cake life. period. AND 2) wohms have it all. bring home money for extras, raise their kids and have the toughest job in the world. lol."
I am a WOHM. I have *never* said SAHM/P's have a 'cake life.' Never. I've also never said I "have it all." In fact, I'd like to figure out some combination of the two...I'm almost there in that I work from home 3 days a week most days....but in my "perfect" life I'd WOH part time, say 25 hours a week, with the majority of that from home.
But overall, I *do* feel I have it all. But not 'cause I work...but because I have two beautiful, amazing and wonderful children who I never thought I'd be so blessed with, a DH I love and who loves me, and a rich full life. Those things wouldnt change if I was a SAH or WOH....but I'd always want work of some sort to engage me.
MM
First of all, YOU don't know my child, I do. I know that not one cookie will pasify him, he will want one just to hold it, and chew on it every now and then, and get it all over the furniture and carpet, so don't tell me what I should do with my son. As far as I'm concerned, now is as good a time as any to start teaching him the word "no", he knows it, and he knows it well. I don't have a big home, I live in a small apartment, I have a hard enough time finding places to put everything without having to worry about putting cookies somewhere other than the kitchen, where they BELONG! It's a cookie, get a grip, it's not that big of a deal! Just becuase I don't give into every whim of my son doesn't make me a bad parent. I am teaching him that the world DOES NOT revolve around him. If you give into your children's every whims, then I feel sorry for you, they will be hell on wheels.
I'm not mean by leaving out cookies, so get a life. I was overexagerating about being a cow and having no self-control. You should really go back and read that these posts have aboslutely nothing to do with you. I never asked for your opinion, and frankly, don't want it. I, personally, think it stinks. While your children are running wild through the streets, because you gave them everything they ever wanted, and made them think everything was their's to demand, mine will be respectful, well-mannered, and I will know where he is at ALL times until the day he is an adult. That is what being a parent is about, expecting things out of your child, knowing where they are at all times, demanding respect, pushing them to be the BEST they can be. I don't know what kind of home you grew up in, but that worked in mine, and my sister and I have NEVER spoken badly to our parents, disagree, yes, but not in a rude manner. We have the utmost respect for our elders, especially our parents. We have a WONDERFUL relationship with them, I see what I am doing with my son worked for my parents, so that is how I am raising him. You can think what you want, but I could really care less. I think you are a know-it-all who thinks everyone should be like you. You are a narrow-minded woman who needs to open her little world to new ideas. I have nothing more to say to you.
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